I had all intentions of starting this last week and indeed I did but i was not in the best of moods and hit the wrong button and it flew off the page and that was that . Although i am calmer than last time i still have this crazy idea that this may help with me my aspergers as reading and writing tend to calm me down and stop me doing karate kicks all over the flat so here goes 2nd time lucky
I would love to know what was the first thing bad thing that was ever done in the world done by a fella and tasted the fruit HE WAS TOLD NOT TOUCH and this is why we are in the mess we are in today although that bloke Jesus did come and try to save us like
I need to know the brainy stuff and you are the ghost who Moses thought was really great and he passed down all those great rules to us
I think I could do with some help though as I want this to be dead good and be like nothing before ever written.
I really need you to teach me to do this and my heart is in the right place which is the right thing better than your fancy churches with their gaudy decor need a makeover most of them
You are a real brainboxand were their right at the beginning.you sat like a giant dove and your wings spread out the darkness and Hey Presto everything sprang into life .
Brighten me when I am a div and make me strong in all my talents so that I can tell everyone gods great plan you know all about heaven and hell so what on earth made Adam and Eve disobey god when they seemed so made up with what they had . He had given them everything except for one tiny little thing
Who on earth was it who made them do it ?
WAit for it WAIT it was of course the snake , he was thirsty for revenge and was green with envy (well Kind of and he decided to get his own back and trick Eve .
IT was pride that was his undoing and he was chucked out of heaven with all his mates .Al his mates supported him like,even when he decided to go into gang warfare with the one and only GOD.
HE WAS doomed from the beginning and for daring God to a bashup he was sent to Hell and for nine days and i suppose nights he and his mates had a kip in the burning fires of hell !!
ALWAYS BEEN A READER BUT NOT READ MUCH OF THE deep heavy stuff until the last five years when I joined a shared reading group were I discovered a love of reading the deep stuff the deeper the better as you tend to get a real sense of accomplishment when you finish something big especially if you understood it !!
I have dabbled in Shakespeare the last five years and thoroughly enjoyed it so when the opportunity came to read paradise lost in a group setting I was made up although must admit at times felt it was hellish I always came home in a goodish mood but twice I arrived to read the said play and twice two weeks running it was not on I was beginning to get ratty as having aspergers means I get annoyed over what may be considered quite small things . the 2nd time the group was cancelled I decided this was sign not to go as don’t think God likes paradise lost much as it is Miltons version of events not his .
I began to feel a meltdown come on and jumped about and cursed a lot ( I am very good at his BUT then I put my duvet on well over my head were I had abrian wave I like the big things and the bigger the better so decided that paradise lost is not really FOR THE every day person so lets rewrite in scouse I realise this is a bit mad but I am mad well ish and actually like writing stuff especially from old fashioned twaddle into god language s couse ummm feel a lot better no so now to start but think will have a cuppa first alright la
ha have not written for such a long time as am frazzled with stuff well life to be more precise I had an idea to write a blog all year to see if someone with aspergers can have a happy year but have come to the conclusion by the end of the march that the answer is deffo a big fat NO as I can’t get stuff out of my head so whereas most people can forget the ups and downs of life I am still jumping up and down hysterically days months even years after the event ! even if it aomething quite trivial like a bus arriving at 9.15 instead of 9.10
so NO it is impossible to have a happy year but hey looking after the past few months since last written I have had a few good days which i suppose makes life livable !
I am probably feeling frazzled as it is easter and my brother and his family coming to stay which will send all my routine sky high but it is only for a few days I do love my nieces kind of
do love them !!
I am feeling much calmer after getting my thoughts down so will have to try it more often famous last words
umm still annoyed about bus pass but keep thinking it will surely come through the post soon and yes I must be more careful famous last words
I was quite lively so decide to walk to town as does not take long went to waterstones were their is a book group every Monday although most of the time don’t read the stuff set unless it is short as like to do my own thing !! I would not say I am a fast or a slow reader but do like to take everything in and you cant do that if it has to be finished at a certain day !
Today we were Reading the monkey by Karen blitzen from out of Africa fame , I must admit found it difficult to follow at times and difficult to keep thread of the story and quite a few of the others thought the same , I must admit I was beginning to feel sicker and sicker and had a quick check to realise I had come out ithout my insulin !!!!
I realised what had happened i had woken to my bloods feeling low at 2 and had eaten before injecting and the come out without my gear (sounds cool that gear my mind was whirling but stayed here i was thinking no one seems to have noticed the panic swishing through my body
I enjoyed the rest of the book group having a general chat and then zoomed to Asda to get supplies of water as knew I could get a thirst to beat all thirsts but hey ho I did not i warned a few people in my Shakespeare group may leave all of a sudden but maybe because i enjoyed playing the lady of the night so much I appeared to be unscathed
I walked home dispite half way being thumped on the head ,no ambulance needed as waS ONLY HAILSTONES and what was their to greet me was my buspass yey freedom of the world unites (think getting a bit over excited but still)
ALLs well ends well told you I like Shakespeare ! My blood was not to bad at 16 but hey it rose to 22 after giving insulin and tea so maybe not so well as could be expected !
does not matter if the weath er is sunny in the welsh village of llan ffestiniog the mountain weather takes over
calm views =calm thoughts
I had all intentions of going to Liverpool to get the last bargains of the festive period , and was really happy leaving my flat til got to the stop and no pass was to be found as the bus came round the corner and I waved it away I frantically searching through silly cards that we all carry round and went home although this put an end to my plans of going to liverpool
I got to Birkenhead and realised I had nothing to read this causes me GREAT UPSET AS i always have something to read even if its rubbish I must read or carry something to read so quickly got something relatively interesting but calm thoughts began to enter head .
I told them abouT MY PASS AND they told me would have a new one within a week to 10 days NOOOOOOOOO I THOUGHT THEY would give me one straight away seeing this is the age of technology why can’t i have one Now I had completely forgotten calm thoughts and was stomping but only in my head luckily I am really glad people cant see in side my head when I have thoughts like this as I w ould be locked up and the key be thrown a way.
I walked home or stomped kept trying to say will have it back next week , I must remember retelling the story at a mental health support group generally helped and managed to put a smile on peoples faces with my stories of calamity so I suppose not good but hey the exercise will do me good !!