I went to the diabetic clinic last week ( wow ) they tend to give little notice these days of an appointment so no time for blood test but knew it was going to be sky high so not much point not sure if can keep on saying ” I will be better once my head probs have i got some form of adhd who knows w ill find out on the 27th of this month !!!! ( if i manage to get round to filling in the forms !!! !!!! that s apparantly a form of adhd putting everything off
I do TRY AND KEEP TO THE DIABETIC DIET WHICH IS a lot easier than years ago as inject my self 4 to 5 times a day depending on what eating so can eat more nice foody things which we all love .
MY blood sugars really rise to the roof not be cause of what i am consuming but to do with stress i get more upset more than the average person due to to many conditions that makes me sound like alphabet spaghetti so will leave it there!!
I do love food love that song from Oliver food glorious food is it worth the waiting for yey i used to pretend i was oliver when i was kid ( fetish on dickens ) i digress ( addhd whatever ) but i tend to go my blood sugar is high might as well as munch bit more ( wrong) perhaps when stressed should keep out of the kitchen but some foody things are good instead of opening a box of chocs get some fruit / veg and just chop chop chop til drop or calm down this in my case could spending a lot of time in chopping in my case plus if chopping apples carrots cld have healthy munching at the same time as long as not rushing and enjoying the process of cooking .
I was watching bake-off the other week were they claimed all the biscuits had to be the same size but not in my pack of biscs although this causes probs when comes to cooking times in the oven !!!
cooking is like mindfulness if you totally observe it and even better when get to the final destination knowing that got nought init that can react with your delicate digestive system and you know washed hands before hand oh well best find my old Paddington bear apron bon appetite ummm but today had to small a dinner in a pub with to much insulin so bloods went low and then over ate so to high now ahahhhhh such is life but never forget I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul ummmmmm it is only me who can decide what I consume and put in mouth !!!
AS SIMON AND GARFUNKEL SAY SLOW DOWN YOU MOVE TO FAST !!! ( CANT REMEMBER THE REST SOME THIN G ABOUT FEELING GROVEY )
well I think the saying is no-one ever said it was going to be easy and yer in my case that is deffo true ( get the violins out ) but their is upsides to having aspergers looking highly likely some form or adhd pure ocd also highly likely and God knows what else do feel like saying no more please pick on someone else now !!!
But the other day i was talking to my diabetic nurse most people have 1 i have about 3/4 and they pass me round the Wirral like some sort of parcel i am ok in short doses !!! anyhow the nurse said to me u should be proud of yourself try looking at the good points cos we are all unique but you appear more unique then the average so after a lot of thought here is the upsides of my life !!!
A. My mind is pretty quick and bulging over with ideas of what do and where to go so do not really understand the strange concept of BOREDOM whats that !!!!!
B well actually the fact i am never bored can be number two maybe cos this may be more difficult of things that are good then thought ( ahhh need positive thoughts )
C have strange sense of hearing and feelings of things or people around me so i would say very unlikely that some one will jump up on although do have a horrible habit of screeching all over the place if someone DOES APPEAR WITH NO PRIOR WARNING ( YAHHHHHH)
d I AM VERY CREATIVE WHICH IS VERY COMMON WITH people on asd add wotever spectrums !!!
E I not only joined the line of humour i joined it numerous times just to be sure the greatest gift is able to live at myself !!!
F I have a good memory for dates and times so rarely forget a birthday g although u r lucky if get a card as just tend to think of you !!!!
g i often see things no- one else can see this can be good for looking for loopholes in situations or something good out of something bad !!!!
H Although the powers that be reckon have no empathy this is not true I do send grapes to the hosi if ill !!!!!!! ummm getting a headache so leaving it there oh yeah another good point I am very honest in fact some people say to honest ha !!!!
I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul
Not blogged for ages for reasons that will become MORE OBVIOUS AS i write and u read !!!
I have had trouble with my teeth for years for about 15 years when the ptsd ocd whatever they think it is and began all of a sudden to clenching teeth and wanting to bite various hard objects which obviously causes an awful lot of problems ouch ouch !!! i dream that if they sort my health probs in just over 10 days find out hopefully what exactly the prob is ( everything is crossed !)
Anyhow the other day went to tescos wow as they have book swap their great stuff and slight teeth ache so got painkillers wow and came home blood sugars raising and soon despite increasing insulin was soon being sick but recovered the next day although tooth was in agony did not know really what to do so left it big mistake !!!! as after another night of sickness my dad took me to the local hosi were they diagnosed as abscess and was dripped up and after a very long wait was on a ward and 24hrs later relatively well and few days later home at hone waiting for dentist app so that why no words of wisdom as i am also shattered and got a slight shortage of vit d just blame the miserable summer !!!
oh well count to 10 and carry on out of the night that covers me black as the pit from pole to pole !!
I still have the forms full of questions to see if adhd but have not filled them yet plenty of time she says !!!!!
I have been reading loads on the condition and am pretty convinced got yet a neurological condition to add to my bow !!!
Their is alot of misconceptions abut the conditon and must admit thought it was people who can’t still sor have visions of children rushing around but amusing it is more to do with not being organised and yes i do have piles of socks but I tend to keep hold of them in the hope that it will find aloving partner and have been known to spend hrs scattering them all over the place trying to pair them up.
I will often make a cup and forget were put it so make another one only to find the cold cup of tea hrs later , I will go to the fridge and just stare inside what did i want and just go blank looking to see what is inside it or various cupboards just like looking but cant remember what looking for .
IT is my uncles birthday on monday but will prob arrive late as could have easily got a stamp today but involved things i have found out that they have a bookswap in the local Tesco so would not wait another day took a few books finished with and came back with a few more with a donation to charity so come good come from my ramblings.
I find Christmas extremely stressful with the amount of cards to send as worry my head if dont give people i care about a card but always handy to have new year cards in does not everyone yer prob but Christmas can soon turn into EASTER!!! IN MY CASE
i HAVE SOMETIMES ABSENTLY MINDLESSLY PUT A CROSSIENT FOR 15 MINS IN STEAD OF 15 SECS AND THE ALARMS AND SMOKE BILLOWING ABOUT WAKES ME UP AND THE NEIGHBOURS
YER ADD IS DEFFO BEING ME PERMANENTLY DISTRACTED !!!!! ALTHOUGH NOT SURE ABOUT THE HYPER BIT BUT AM VERY LIVELY AND BOUNCY AT TIMES !! AND THEN REALLY QUIET AHH WELL FIGHT ON THINK I CAN CUT MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE BETWEEN ASPIE AND ADHD !!!! WOT EVER
OH WELL i AM THE MASTER OF MY FATE I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL
I am still waiting for my forms to be analysed by a professional to see for certain w why i have these awful swear swear thoughts in head and she seems likely t have adhd add what ever i am not upset by all this as i hope they can find why i am like this so something can be done you can fight if u know what your opponent is if you know yr football team is playing Chelsea man u you know need to put more effort in and different tactics then playing Tranmere Rovers !!
I came across this abit ago the only poem i really rely on is Invictus but other thoughts poetry does help be it only briefly or i lose the scrap of paper it was on so putting it here may help !!!
Our thoughts create our future
concieve it believe it achieve it
explore dream discover
We have the inate ability to become all that we dream
We can create the future it is not hard as it can seem
To become who you aspire to be to make your dreams come true
Think of good it will do
claim what isn’t at it where til it becomes
we can all be what we want to be see it and it will be done
umm it kinda helps and gives hope which is what i cling onto but as stated before not as powerful as Invictus but then nought is !!! but i hope that one day they can sort the growing number of disorders in my brain /mind what ever it is my dream at the moment is just to have one day or even two with out ********* in my head !!!
Yes our thoughts do create our future but not if you cant control them and all of a sudden******* ****** constantly but i have a belief that one day it will be sorted and I will be able to live the life i was supposed to or meant to but i dream of one day being well cos I would /will never forget the night that covers me !!!
I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul!!!
It is hard to believe how much life has changed in the last few decades it is hard for the majority of teenagers and younger to realise life with out the internet .
although my dad who is in mid 70s can remember getting the first tv with massive aerial which is dad had to twiddle about while watching an fa cup match not at all like today were their is gadgets were u can watch tv and numerous channels and most of the time my mum watches Welsh tv and various dramas and my dad is glued to his detectives and sport .
It was deffo more of a family affair with all watching the same programme but not sure how we would cope today with this and who would have hold of the remote
I think it was in the early 50s that the adverts began on tv creating the consumer society we know today making everyone think they needed at least a semi with a drive for the car and the magic 2.5 kids were .5 of a person comes from i will never know as time progressed houses became bigger the more money you had and of course more space that u have to fill with what was advertised on tv which goes along with the mentality BUY BUY BUY OR BUY MORE BUY OFTEN AND BUY BETTER BUT IF u follow these rules u will never succeed and be happy as something better always comes along and u just have to keep with the Joneses.
My dad grew up with out a bathroom and remembers all having a bath in atub my mum says remembers being the first with a bathroom in the village llan in wales it was such a big thing apparantly to have a bath but these days their is 2 sinks Y and the bathrooms in some places are like massive ballrooms and just wow factor or with a kitcken / bathrooom / mixer taps and the surfaces of houses always changed i vaguely remember going to places were there was no wall to wall carpets but today it is laminate and then realise cold back to fluffy carpets but then splodges of wine so change it again mainly cos the advertising people say to
I must admit to having a fetish for reading writing stuff so tend to fill space with books etc but appliances rooms just want or need the basics i moved into a flat once very quickly and furnished it with other people s castoffs so to speak well put it this way i am relatively slim but someone gave me a bed and it callopsed oh well never had the bottle to tell the person either ( bit late now as gone to the bed in the sky ).
I wonder what will the future will bring and what would our ancestors think if brought back to our gadget filled lives today .
Sadly i think a few things do not change their are still some people who not in their wildest dreams have a bathroom or the basic indoor plumbing that the so called western world take for granted or even water to drink let alone cook with .
I suppose we can vote for change with our so-called dosh and as a certain supermarket says every little helps so make it chic to go green although must admit i am not good at doing this as if on a limited income cost of going green does not come cheep but more and more adverts are thinking this and about the carbon footprint I suppose you just have to do yr best and buy sensibly as someone or other said “what good a house if not got a decent planet to put it on ” i have no need to really play the consumerism game well ok I do a bit as you any have guessed My SURNAME IS JONES !!!!!!!
I have not forgotten my fave poem just been ultra busy with family dos and birthdays which causes me quite abit of upset as i dont like things happening all the time i like big gaps this is why i dont like Christmas as everything seems to be happening in that month and then its blank !!! noooh
Anyhow I have been thinking alot abt the first verse of Invictus as actually hoping that the mystery of what is actually wrong with my brain and have been given forms to fill out to see if got ADHD or some form of it the Dr thinks deffo ADD and prob a rare form of ocd to do with thoughts in my head , so yes when i read or try and remember the first verse of Invictus i Kinda go yer this is it at long long last although the majority of people i know call me LOU or louby obviously my name Louise actually means warrior and yer it goes as not kidding been one hell of war / fight battle but will win
Out of the night that covers me black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods maybe for my uncon querable soul
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced or cried aloud
under the bludgeoning of chance my head is bloody but unbowed
BEYOUND this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade were the menace of the years will find me and find me unafraid
blah ( cant remember that bit not good to be to perfect but willl get it but most importantly
I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul !!!!! yer will get their and be run over by a BUS HA OH WELL LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A CHALLENGE