deafening sound DP writingchallenge

I knew something was going to be different , don’t ask me how  I could feel it right there  in my stomach not a pain exactly ,  I could actually feel it in the air and kept hearing the word nursery and big school as I was a big girl now  which  was a lie as I considered my self quite small and my brother well he was 6 so yes he was big and old well at least to me he was

My mum kept on telling me how much fun I was going to have with all these children and make lots of friends why did people think I wanted friends ,  I had my own friends and stories with me all the time in my books and in my head with my own stories and  adventures ,and I was always the conductor of  my adventures ,and needed noone else to spoil things for me

I was not fussy  about the clothes that I wore as long as they were not on my skin touching me so was not free and could  actually feel the skin tightening unable to breathe !

So was not pleased when the night before these new clothes were put out I don’t remember seeing them before  so knew instantly would be tight and well YUK ( with a capital )

I had my hair brushed and all my knots  had to be  taken out ,this made me wish to have all my hair cut off and have it short  like a boys but I never  told anyone my wishes so a wish kept to yourself  does not come true , I suppose .

I felt extremely out of sorts going over the road to the house where the nice lady would take me to the place called school , umm this sounded ok  but her son always scowled at  me don’t touch my toys you  are a girl his book and comics looked interesting but I was not allowed to  touch anything  but would gaze longingly listening to the chatter of my brother and his friend .

We were eventually on our way to school , I wasnt exactly dragging my feet and was happy enough just listening to other people’s  chatter  there seemed to lots of children on their way to  this  strange place  , but they seemed to be  skipping along the path , whilst I dragged my feet , but everyone thought of me as shy , not seeing any more than the basic quietness, the door opened and I wa thrust into a room of children laughing and talking what fun !   Mrs Howard exclaimed what fun  but I thought of the chatter and the fun  and just to hide away and wish myself  invisible and so that is what I became   right through my primary education thinking  that if   I did not  speak no one  would see me and I was more or less right !!

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About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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