Today  I have  had  a particularly  bad  daythings  that  have  happened   decades  ago  keep popping up in my mind   and they wont  go away often i read to  make them escape  but i have to be  relatively cool I    could tell   you  all my problems  of the  day it  might   make  things  better  i am told     but i don’t  ant to relive  everything   now i am relatively calm  (  rambling on is  one of my traits )

 I often wonder   why   am i me  and  not the  successful   person    down the ROAD PERHAPS  SUCCESSFUL IS  THE   WRONG  WORD    i MEAN I LOOK AT PEOPLE    THINK WHY HAVE   THEY GOT   THEIR LIFE   AND ME MINE   ARE  WE on particular  journeys   depending on  what  we   have  done   in a previous life  must  admit i  can never  make  up my mind  about the  after  life   I was  brought  up to  go to church my   mum still goes    but  when  I was   having  a  meltdown earlier   today just  screaming    ”  god please   take me “i had  a  eureka  moment  in the   bath   and made  some  decisions    . I often   wonder  why i am in the   family   in a s my  mum and me  don’t   really   connect and  the  personalities of the    family don’t   really gel  together   if u get  my meaning so wonder  was this    some  awful  mistake  putting   us  together   in this  family    umm that   word  keeps    cropping   up like the    word  phoney in   catcher in the    rye

oh well getting agitated with modern world lou by


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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