#ptsd #emdr #stress

I have been     totally   stressed  out with the  thoughts in my head  going   round  and think I have told    u this before   I  always  have good  intentions   but     that  is  the   one thing   u can not hide  from  and that is yourself    keep  saying why    did   that happen  and if   only  i try and  keep  self  busy   but mind   wont let me !!!  t

I was  at    rest  for   awhile as  at   a  volunteers   meeting  about   reading    that is  my thing  and  although the  meeting  was  long  and  drawn  out   the   ruminating   thoughts   did   stop   although  wish  they would  realise   not   old  people   bei  like   having poems  read to them   and   some people   are   able to  cope   with   being   read  a proper   novel so  at time  got fed up   but on the  whole it was  good !!

Not long after  leaving    the   thoughts   happened  why    if only get the   u get the  picture  and  my teeth were   clenching   here we go again   !!! am i   going to  be like  this for ever    i   begin to  feel    suicidal  imagine   living   the   rest  of my life   with these  thoughts    DRIVING ME CRAZY  !!!

mONTHS    AGO   I  told   my gp   abt my stress  and   strains and they  put me  down  for  emdr   or  something like th at   which  were    u  relive     your  distressing   traumatic     life  doing  something    with   your eyes  but that   was  6 months   ago  I remember  cause  my mum broke  her leg  !!!

My argument   is   a  bad leg   is seen to   straight away but a distressed  mind   is left to  struggle   getting hotter  and  more   distressed  I  sometimes  have suicidal   thoughts    but think    the  powers   that  be have won   and     I feel    the  urge  to fight on   seeing  that  other people   have the   same probs   helps   out   ta for   reading   deep breath   carry on !!


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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