#reiki #ptsd #ruminatingthoughts #emdr

umm not   at all well   at the mo think said    this  the other  day    a friend   told me   yesterday if  i wrote  things   down it helps  , I found  yesterday    also    doing   any thing  that u have  to  concentrate  on helps  even  when it is  something   relatively simple   like  face book  games  as  u   have to concentrate  on the  patterens and   shapes u r making !!!

My thoughts   are whirling  out of  control and  i cant   get  out of my head the   things   that have happened  to me in the past  (abuse ) and  people not listening  to  the  word  NO    which means  no  even doing the   most  simple thing if u say no that is   what it means

Yesterday   I went to   a mental health    group   it  is  not much help as    it is  very basic  my  needs   are to  put it    simply is quite complex  !!!!

I go mainly   as u are  able to   take  part in     various  health     therapies  for   a   small donation

i had  taken a  leaflet on  emdr    but  i think   i was   not making    clear    what it meant and   was over   people  heads  but a  light   shone  the   therapist  had heard of  it   and  said   it  was the   new  flavour in mental  health

I  told the   therapist  Siobhan  that  my health   had taken a   nose  dive    and my thoughts    would   not stop    ruminating  and she    asked it   it  had  got  worse     since  the    eclipse  the other  week and the  answer    was yes   wow  she  told me   things  often moved about  and caused   things to change interesting !!

I had the   reiki    treatment  which i always   enjoy and   felt  the  heat in my head   after   Siobhan   told me my head was ultra  busy  and  suggested   meditation  which is   something    mean to   get into   !!

I felt  alot  calmer  but  sadly this   only lasted  for   ashort  while  and the   ruminating   thoughts  were  back AAAAAAAH   do i have  to  live  like this for  ever if so  I dont  want  to the mental   pain is  to  much put   it this way  if i developed    cancer i wo uld  refuse     all treatment   but  then  writing   this   down help s and   i am   on the  waiting   list  for help   although    the help  may come to late  !!!  as  when will    the   appointment   come   through the  post how  long  is  a piece of string !!  deep breath   and carry on


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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