I sometimes  feel over come   by anger that i feel    can not    continue  living   sound  over  the  top  but true   ,    some people    just    see the  Louise   which  is     boppy and happy  others   see  the Louise who  is  easily irritated   and others  see the   full  blown anger of  not being  able to control  my emotions .

I  have  always    been a reader  but  more and more   people   say why   dont  u  write   it  may calm  u and  whilst   doing this  article  (  very posh )  i can see    what people   mean   it  is   something  calming about  more so  then   reading  although  i am not  going  to  give    that up  in a hurry !!!

people   wonder   why  i am angry    very few  people   know  the  real me  who had their  life   ripped  apart   by a  sexual attack  who is also   aspergic and  diabetic   so   no wonder  i am   angry and  crazy   especially  when u tell the   truth to people   and    they   dont   believe  you !!!

I    am so   jealous  of people  who   go  on tv and  seem to   forgive   what ever   has been done   to them   and  broadcasts   the   fact  but something  in my head   wont let  me do  that  as  various    thoughts   go round  and  round , i last   year diagnosed   my self  with  ptsd  and  maybe   next month  i will  be  get a  phone call  where  to  go   next  (   the  powers  that  be lost  my referral )

Anger    comes    from fear  so  people  say   , and  in a  way   i can see   why people think that  as  i never  know  do  i not  like  people    touching  me  cause   aspergic  and  never   really liked   touch  or is it   the deep breaths   abuse .

people also  say love   will overcome  and  before   listening  to songs of praise  and   the  football  anthem  abide  with me  came on and   i did   kind  of feel  that  someone  was  looking  after me   (i am not religious  although  used  to go to church  like to  sing )  for  those  few  moments   of calm, able   to carry on , well   this   writing  thing    must be   working   no longer  thinking of   ringing th   Samaritans  for a chat   !!!!  ummm


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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