week 1 ~invictus #mentalhealth

Been roughly a  week  since  decided  to learn  invictus  by heart , ha  it  has   got  me out of  slight pickles   but only  by a  millimeter  and that  better  than nothing   , think  I need to recite   it more when calm so automatically   goes  to my  brain when frazzled

.  My ptsd  tends  to strike    when    doing  aimless   things  like  walking   the  streets  ( not  that   way )   as i have nothing   much to   focus on , as  i   am so used   to  traveling   the routes my self  so  bang    ( swear  swear ) off  i went   now  what is it    something  abt   a night   being   black  but    does  not seem to  flow  with the   2nd line     think   yer   that’s  it   Black  as the  night  that covers me   nooooo    its out  of  the night   see  its   not as   easy as it sounds   but actually reciting   the   lines    begins to calm  me down  as   gets  the    obscene   filthy  thoughts.

Today i recited   a bit  before   getting out of my pit  of   ahhh   by Jove  as the  light  nips  through  OUT  OF    THE  NIGHT  THAT  COVERS ME

BLACK AS  THE PIT FROM POLE   TO POLE   ( NOT SURE )

I THANK WHATEVER GODS  MAYBE  FOR  MY UNCONQUERABLE SOUL   yer  that  sounds   right  and think look  what u have gone  through and   u sure will see  it through to the  end  my ptsd  thoughts  began to   strike   when realized  cld   not find   sandles to go   with skirt and coffee    slipped out of my hand  leaving  splurges   but  hey   goes   with the pattern and I am master of  my fate  went to the pub and  yum lovely  roast for a  fiver    FIGHT ON

 

 

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About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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