ahhh things not to good and although reciting Invictus does help the words will not enter my brain when very stressed , been told unless brain busy or relaxed the ptsd will strike were i clench my teeth leading to most of them being destroyed , no point going to dentist as mum suggests as cant stop clenching the damn things !!!
Saying this i was okish reading ant and cleo in Shakespeare this pm i am not a buff as only got gcse but enjoy the stories and enjoy the company of the others who accept people for who they r very important when got a mental illness !!
So all though have back tracked to just repeating the last two lines I am the master of my fate , I am the captain of my soul, feel bit like 1,0000 steps back and 1 step forward if lucky although one can dream of waking up and my brain is just calm and collected and can walk down the street without unimaginable swear word s entering my brain not kidding living nightmare .
Feel alot more stressed as my birthday coming up and dont really want to celebrate being here , i know that sounds awful but never get what supposed to be celebrating be here , this must sound awful if got some deathly disease but be in my head for a day and have had this for at least for 15 years !!!! woe woe woe actually feel bit better now writing this out maybe one day out of the dark that covers me black as night from pole to pole think thats right who oh well cold feet back on tonight hope wont be disappointed