#invictus #mentalhealth

ahhh    It is   sunday   and time for  confessions   although i am not  catholic , or anything  really just me ,  i have  not  forgotten   the   forementioned   poem  but   sometimes my life  can be so  STRESSED  i  compleatly  forget  to  try and remember the  lines   although saying  it louder to myself in  my flat   and to firmly say this  like  now !!

I  have been seeing   someone  for a  few  months to  abt   helping me  with  ptsd  but  had a sneaky   feeling   this  was not going  on the  right path  and  last week   got  told    that   it  was  up to me  but  he does   not want  to do anything that may  inferfere  the  emdr  treatment  waiting for  with the   NHS   which will be   two  years  next  month .

I  have at time  tried  to  remember other  different sayings or peoety   but at the   end  i am going   ahhh no    keep   with   hopkins , was it  him who  wrote  it  sounds   right ,   and  manly  hopkins  banging in my ear drum ,

so really  i shld be  alot further  with  learning the  whole of invictus   but i am not   ,  but on the whole i am doing  this for  me and no-one else so  really  you should not be  saying  , well not much effort   in their   but  yer   enough   and  theirs  no exam  recital  at the end

 

outof the  night that  cover me   black as the  pit  from post  to post I thank what  ever  god   that  may be for  my un connquerable soul ,  yer  that sounds okishnn  not  sure  abt the  may be ,  but maybe its in their maybe not  ,  but i will ponder and wonder  and thinking  of that   may stop  the  ptsd   attacking me  and  of course  i am the  master of  my fate  , I am the  master of my soul .   yer thats it  abt time  i pulled  self  together   and learnt  more  upwards   and onward  wotever !!!

 

 

 

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About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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