#Invictus #mentalhealth

I  am slightly amused    when told   someone   about #invictus   and  how t may help me  with struggle   with ptsd   (  violins out ) and she said  still dont get  it  but morgan freeman did   that  well  if he  can learn   it by heart   so can i  does   not own it     does  he  must  admit  the name     ring a bell    but  not getting  an answer .

I have  decided to move on  two the   second verse   if u call  it that , although   not over keen   on it   as the bit    throught out   something   circumstance i have not  winced or cried  aloud   so when   ever i come across  t hat but      get  bit aggiated   as not  true  but after    much thought  hey ho does it matter  i am still here  alot  of times i think   right  no more  of this  let go off   to the  better  place   if   theirs  such a thing but     i honestly  dont  pour my heart    out to every  living  soul and    and  tend to do  what  most people  do   hi lou  how    r u   oh  i am fine  and walk  on by  !!!

yesterday  was an okish   well it  went bit  wrong as it often does   ,  not been able to find blood machine  so    just guessing my insulin dose   not  a good  idea on long term  but surviving   i know  when going   wrong    as the  dreaded    thirst  appears  and  i   go   from place   getting   drinks  for  myself ,   i do    not help , matters  by saying a hh high as   kite  lets    have cake from mates    cafe  although i think  it is  healthy cake  if such a thing .

went to   library book grp i had been   under such stress   with  government  stuff   that   had  put the book n hold    as  culd  not concentrate  and the   book  is now  wrecked  but   u r thinking   she  has  harmed   a library book but no  it s my own n ot that is an excuse  , alot of the  time i am   relatively chatty   but   sometime   realise   not on the    same  page  as  everyone   else  so  to speak  and  maybe  shld   keep  certain   comments  to  my self  but     wether   its part of  aspergers    find   it  hard  to  keep quiet   when  know people are  not getting what   trying to alot of   time   with   certain social   things   i think   to myself why   bother   i cant seem  to  do this  polite    conversation   malarky and   say what i think oh well  i am the master of my fate not me  and   i  have   to live  with me    all the  time   and other  people  only   have to  put   up with me hr or so  !!!

Decided  to   go to local theatre  not   far  away  not sure  who  else going  just go  on the off chance it was  a comedy   version of macbeth so  thought   yer   have u ever heard of  such  a thing   so off  i went  i have lived  in Birkenhead  all my life  so  how    i got slightly lost  is beyond  me but the rds  do    look kind of the same  and approached  theatre   and it was all  shuttered off  , how   dare they   not open it  up  but i looked  at   various paper   things  and   hey    Macbeth   comedy version  was   last week    alot of the  time this happens things go wrong  and  i  tense  up and shoulders go in ward  kinda mumbled  along out of the  night  that covers  me  always   want to say black still  and even bits  of second  verse    i have not   winced or  cried aloud no big  deal go to asda  and it  is   quiet and   will   pick up    bargains galore    hey ho must do    this again , maybe not  for  along time   something  going  wrong  and  came home must admit  kicked oof a bit     mainly  for life  of me  cld   not remember if taken nightmare   insulin sl  took a  gamble   and took it   again    I  am the master of my fate after all




About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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