#invicus #mentalhealth

Not  having the best of days   been ultra  stressed  with   ahhhhh  ptsd thoughts raging also on top of that  my blodds are ultra high and  mean high  they tend to be on the   high side  anyway  but over   25   is ultra high  but    given loads of insulin and just have to    wait  for  the insulin  to take  effect  .  ( this   really sounds like woe is me get the  violins out  but if u knew  me  i only   really tell  people  i am yuk when really am  cos nought nothing  anyone can do )

I think got   the  first verse  of invictus  off to a tee and  can  say it  no bother   although  the first  line  makes me pause  and  then tend to  shout OUT   ahhh thats it   i was wondering  what  the   difference  to  my health  the poem creates    when  i say the  poem  out loud  and  my body  tends  to be  more looses and my body seems  to come out of   its  tense pose  i reckon look  like some creature  which   is turned  to stone and then  seems be able to move   i drink  far to   much coffee   , i know i do  but  their  u go  i know i shld  not as get  the  most   horrific  heartburn  and  my head  feels   very tight  when the   evil ptsd  strikes  but   i have to  make   a real effort  for it to leave  someone told me  to say  go away but   to no  affect .

Don t really like the  second  versy  thing  of invictus  maybe     due to   having aspergers  i dont like  to say things   that   are not true   and   saying  In  the  fell  clutch of  circumstance   i  have not winced   or  cried  aloud   i scream well  i have  i am always  ranting  and raving   but often  think of   Nelson Mandela   when read that   bit    and think  surely  he  was the  same  !!!


I am not   a fan of  big words  but  been reading   abt the   sympathetic  and parasympathetic  systems and   they  are  a bit like  ying  yang really  u have  to both working kinda  of  in tune together  to function    well  would  hate   to hear the  noise my systems    make , the  para   one is all to do with fight and flight   and had someone   say your  adrenal glands   are   going   way off to kilter  prob  due to the    continual stress and  just  get things out of my head  ( sos  kylie )as well as   my friend   Invictus   for some   absurd  reason have started  to think of   him as  a person  no idea  y  along  with  learning    the  fore mentioned  poem  i am obviously  writing more this   helps and  really  shld try   this breathing  malarky ot where u go in and out   but  deep breathing and  let   these systems get  in some  sort of   order  perhaps    if i   could do my breathing  they reckon   10 mins  which sounds   6  mins  to  long  to  me  but still  think it may  be worth     doing  breathing  followed  by   my friend   invictus  and seeing how things    go from their and  see what happens  and end  it all with a lovely  s t  r  e t ch    believe that does  wonders  !!

out  of the  night   that covers me    yer  eventually one day     I  am the  master of  my fate   I am the   captain of my soul




About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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