#Invictus #mentalhealth

hey  hae been doing this in my head but not writing any thing down lazy bones  as  far to stressed   with  well life   often find  its the  small things in life that    get me going not  the  big , i was  fine in the summer  when my  niece  aged  6  was  staying with my parents   and took  her to the  hospital a, where  i was relatively calm cld  but  be  something  to do  with   i having spent  alot of my  life in hospital , does not faze me, and yer  was  lucky not suspected   meningitis   but  a chronic was  ear infection  although  bit (miffed  to say the least  when  DRS were not sure abt  putting a drip up as my parents  and myself  were not   next of kin how mad   to leave  young kid ill and very stressed  and not doing the best for her , i tell  u was  getting  very hot and bothered ,  the  rest of the   family had gone to rock concert and cld not be  got hold of but i am the  master of my fate  captain of my soul and stood  my ground  and soon they relented  and a drip was inserted amidst much amateur   dramatics (must run in family) and alls well  ends well .

In the last week my kettle  went bust  to someone who drinks  gallons of liquid aday cant all be blamed on diabetes (badhabit ) this was a  disaster to make me chronically distressed  and a few days of  drinking luke warm drinks was  to many to mention so got a new kettle  an expensive one fora change  fingers crossed  it will last more than 6 months only to find not   quite  right  when got home  explodeing time and ptsd  went berserk !!!!!!!!vcvs acnbd e words unprounacable sprrouting and   biting on things  calming me down (not)   although friend  did  tell me it  takes awhile for a kettle to settle in its  new home , never heard of settling in probs  of kettles  but seems to  be true  as  soon the  drinks  became  warmer and more settled   began  to feel slightly calmer  and sat on bed  and remembered my good  friend Invictus , umm think have mastered 2 verses , I took my time and tried  to slow down breathing before  remembering the words of comfort

Out of night  that  covers me!! (although sometimes  say comforts, me now that  deffo does go

Black as the pit from pole to pole  I thank whatever god maybe for my unconquerable soul yey 1 verse  done now 2nd

something about a bloody head oh yer because of  bad life ,er circumstance

In the  depth clutch  of circumstance I have not winced or cried alone although my head is  bludgeoned or is that  bloody or unbowed , i am convinced  i  heard Donald  trunp  say the  something  abt is head  being bludgeoned  this was very upsetting to hear this keep hoping i imagined it  yer try again i will learn this  whatever (don’t groan)  try again

In the depth clutch of  circumstance i have not  winced or cried aloud (not alone ha )  my head is  bludgeoned  but unbowed  yer that’s it  cool  2  verses  done 2 to go and yer i feel the  end is looming  but I am the master of my fate and will fight on !!

 

 

 

 

 

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About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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