fumeing mad invictus

hell  spells   not been  writing much as  to  stressed      which i suppose is not  the thing  to do just  wrote   aload of  stuff and pressed the  wrong buttons and all disappeared  !!  ahhhhh  been in fuming mood as got   result   from pip  (extra money  but not being u get   not much if disabled which has been cut  not much  but enough   but worried  as  have to go  back again in 18 months   i am hopeing  my ptsd  may have been seen by then ha  as been waiting 2 years  but really my autism  is not going  to go away is it  and my diabetes  has always been eretic  wld be lovely  if all  my problems  would dispapear   but they are not  with a will and  a prayer  i am  not a disney film .

I  do  still  say invictus when  i woke and  before  sleep  maybe  shld say  it more inday   got the   2 verses  i think

out of  night that covers  me

black as the pit  from pole to pole

I thank what gods  that may be  for my unconquerable  soul

In the  depth clutch of  circumstance I  have not winced or  cried    aloud

My head is  bloody but  unbowed    yey         errr the  yey is not  init   just incase wondering  so time to   venture  me  thinks  it the 3rd bit only 4 verses  do  not worry  it is not paradise lost i am learning

umm something  abt wrath and  tears  can’t get it  quick cheat  !!!  (only human and am stressed  beyond this  place of wrath and tears ( yer  i am prob  mr  angry  wife  cousin   auntie wot ever  must admit don’t cry much

Looms the  horror  of the shade  umm difficult to get  that   horror of the shade in my experience  !!! i am  sometimes  not  in mental  pain and love it  and get over  excited   as think problems  have gone but really just having a respite  .

so perhaps  I know where  i am ranting  and raving  but there is a way out .  the last   2 lines of this  are heavy so  am going to leave   u  in the shade wondering if coming   back,

I must  admit slightly calmer  and  going  to continue   with my battles and to make  governments  people  see how much  u put into something when u have a  disability ui can’t see !!!

onward  and upwards er  no

I am the  master of my fate   i am the   captain of my soul





About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
This entry was posted in aspergers, hidden diability, invictus, meltdown, PIP, poetry, ptsd, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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