Invictus even in hosi

haha   here    we  go  again  starting off with apologies   for  no blurb  for yeons  ( love that word )  about  my   new  friend !! Invictus  but  honestly    i  come  with a better  excuse   then the dog ate   my homework .

The night before  the   day when  we   celebrate   burning  bonfires  and  bangs in  sky although  they seem to go  off  all the  time these days  i watched   tv (exciting) and  decided  to  land of nod   only to  feel  like hell and  went to  bathroom  (don’t worry  not to   gory but   began coughing   blood  this  continued  for  most of  night  til   decided to get  ambulance   more  difficult   than u  any think   when  live in entry  not literally but if blood  coming out of  mouth and not  been  fighting   u can imagine   did not  really  want an  argy bargy   claiming  i live over   a tile  shop  when i know  live  over sun bed  shop   but   for life  of me  could  not remember    name of   it  so not  impressed !!!  but  never forget  I am the  captain of my soul  i am the  captain of  my fate   i went outside  and  waited  and waited   til saw man in  green and able to  wave  for help and  yer   they were lost    !!!

I   did  not want to get in touch with parents  as  they  were  going  to  a wedding of  best friends   daughter    so went myself which really is no prob   their is  a lovely feeling when u get in to a hosi and realise  in safe hands .  I was  wisked from A+E   to resus   once  they  realised   it was  blood   were i was   lying there in hell one thing  cropped  ever so   slowly  in to  my mind

Out  of the  night  that  covers me

black as  the pit from  pole  to pole

I thank  what ever   gods  maybe   for  my unconquerable  soul

In the   depth   clutch of   circumstance  i have  not winced  or   cried aloud  (  that  is such a lie)

my head is   bludgeoned but  unbowed

beyond the  wrath of  blood and tears  u shall find  me unafraid

cool  not saying i manged to say  it all  but saying  the  first line  did  not half help as if to  say yer  will get better   which u can gather    must have   although always  been thin  ultra  skinny now !!!

i did   cause   a bit of   a rumpus  when did  not really want to  put tubing   down throat and  kept saying ohhh nooo aspergers  dont do that and of course  cld   do  nothing without written  consent  after much coaxing  always   good  to remember   with someone  with autism their ideas  may sem crazy but with  a bit of  general persuasion   come  round  and appeared parts of  my oesphogeous   had gone  black and  none  seems to know why  oh well

I  am the  master of  my fate    I  am the captain of  my soul


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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