getting to the bottom to it

well  today   was  the day going  back to the  hosi  to see  y been coughing  up blood starting  with  a endscopy thingy  , i had it done  in hosi  the other  week  and  not to worried as   remember  nothing  about  all i remmber  was in such a state  and  saying   “i have aspergers   dont like touchy feeling things  and  a dr  no worries   we  will  give  u more   dose  yey !!

I was  slightly worried  about the  rules   which like  to follow  such as no eating  or  drinking  for 5 hrs before  thinking i often  wake up wanting a drink  or what if   my blood goes  low  ( kept saying i am the  master of my fate  captain of my soul )  i will be fine  but   saying  fine  words    does  not cure all as  i did  indeed   go  hypo in the night but   just layin bed  thinking  best not eat !!!

I went  to the hosi  feeling  fine  and whilst  talking things through  found out blood  still 2  so was rushed off  with sugary  drink being  rubbed  into  gum and  trying  desperately  for a vein til  all was well and taken for the procedure   well  not like  the last time it hurt   like hell so  have no idea   how the  woman next to me  tried  it wiht no  sedation  (well she  never  saw it through best    to be   a cowatd   and take all pain relief .

As  a brittle  diabetic  i knew   what was   coming next   my blood  sugar went   sky high  at  20   but no worries  kept saying ” i am like this all the  time   honest no worries ummmm  eventually they believed  me and went to see  the  result  was   well they said never heard of  it before  ACUTE ESOPHAGEAL NECROSIS  syndrome   ummm bit of  a mouthful   but basically   quite  rare   haha  like rare   things   got  a tube  in me that  should not be  their   also  but hey that’s another  story

Basically  my esophagus   went black  and at   great risk of doing so again  been  given strong  tablets  and   have to try to keep to alkaline  diet   so  noacid  type  foods like  coffee  pop  citric fruits  umm time  will tell   bit worried  when said  could flare   up again   but hey ho  at least   know what it is and used  to  following  diet   diabetic  since  13  and  not kidding the  thought of  coffee  makes me  want to puke

I suppose  my fate is  in my hands     for  I am the  master of  my fate  I am the  captain of my soul   so to speak best  behave   or blood  will start   spurting out  of mouth !!!!!  yuk


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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