invictus deep breaths

last night   going to bed  got  in a bit of a frazzle   thinking    have i been  with   invictus     a  a year or is today as   2016   a leap  year  so    that  means extra   day and  skip a day    ahhhhh  was it   a year   yesterday    or is  today   ( does it matter )   ha    well  yes  it  does   it if u are  on the   autistic  spectrum and    got  a   thing  about  dates  and times   every thing   needs to be correct  the  sensible   side of me  says   does  it matter  when   your  friendship  began  with Invictus  what matters     the poem  is  still with  u today    yer  if  u say so !!!

Yesterday  my ptsd  was  at  times  chronic with ramblings   going  round  round  round and  could  not stop the  twirling   of  my thoughts   blogging   does   help  but   my bloods  hit ultra high levels at   25   supposed to  be  7   so   no blogging   but hey   keep cool  I am the master  of my fate   captain of  my soul     all  u have to  do is take   extra  insulin and wait   and  wait   some  more  til  bloods  return to normal and hey they did  !!

I  am still trying to get  to grips with  3rd  verse

beyond this place of  wrath and  tears lie the  horror the shade  were the menace of  the years   shall find me and find me   unafraid  (  by ethal  i think  i have it   for some  absurd   reason can  not remember the  word   beyound   all though  it is   really important as  kind  of  tells u   can get through this   so-called problem , the  main one   not the date  one   !

so think    this is  it   u will  just have  to  take  my word for   it  not cheating  ( honest  injun  and  fingers not  crossed   !!!

out of the   night  that covers me

black as  the pit  from pole   to pole     I   thank what ever  Gods maybe    for my  unconquerable    soul

in the   fell  clutch of   circumstance  i have not winced or  cried aloud   my head  is   bludgeoned  but  unbowed

beyond the   wrath of  blood  and tears lies  the  horror of the  shade   were the menace of the   years  finds   and shall   find  me unafraid  (  that’s  the difficult me  find and shall  find  me  confusing   saying   it   twice   but  maybe   thingy liked   hide   and seek

so  really   does  it matter  how long    i have   been invictus   what matters it  is  still   with me  !!! and  to finish my piece off  went  to christmas   coffee  morning  were  Farther   christmas  came  over   for a chat  and  he  knew  me  by name  yer  been good  this  year   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! believe  that u will believe   anything


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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