umm it’s the season to be jolly !!! bah humbug !!!
well actually that is a bit of a lie and yer think bit of myth that people on autistic spectrum don’t tell lies they do but maybe with great difficulty and does take a lot of practice .
I do like the festive season but find myself getting in more s tupors and stresses than normal what with all the christmas card malarky were if u feel really awful and worry about if don’t give a card back !!! and i am pretty evil as comes to choosing cards well i like u so u get a cute and worry if give a card to a cat lover with a dog in and then the usual games of who sent that card , never heard of them but yer it is a game i suppose and no one forces you to play !!
memories from the past were bouncing round my head as walked to library the nasty thought that cant be repeated but get as the past hits by head with force, i was thinking of invictus say your poem deep in my head kept saying but my head was to far gone and although few words of the poem came it would not take hold ” I am master then swearms\mdasfej get the picture .
I arrived at library and met mate who helps me run reading group and began to feel calmer as talked when going to break for christmas well party next week or next who knows could always have two , must admit not concentrating on what reading but mood lifted and by end of the shared reading session i was relatively happy and a million miles away from my walk an hour ago !!!
If i am people who understand me and i relax the problems in my head seem to disappear and even thoughts of invictus actually leave perhaps it is abit like an angel always there but do no call for help unless needed !!
I do worry about the most idiotic things like took friend for a coffee ( tea not allowed coffee) but was lateish but just s pent time worrying if we weren’t here she could close up shop maybe she was glad of custom and our company not sure what mate thought when kept saying drink up drink up lets go !!!
I was feeling alot better about christmas and calmer yer have heard Jesus born in september so we are celebrating either really late or early and who really celebrates before the baby is born so could do christmas 25th of feb and Jesus only 2 months
yer beyond the wrath and tears lies the horror the shade , things not so bad although dont think it will be plain sailing all the way up to the 25th of december may as well join in with rest of world , and have decided to go out for meal on Wednesday although bit of me saying going out wed for meal thurs for meal and fri but no one making me all my decisions just like christmas No one makes u run around like a mad thing take it easy , and just enjoy other Peoples lights ( can’t afford the elecy bill and do y our own thing !!!
I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul and so are u !!!! (best write some cards and the most annoying thing people born in december (joking) sure they can’t help it !!!