christmas invictus

STRESS STRESS  STRESS that s  what christmas is  but on the other  hand   would  miss  it if it left as i often  say to people lets  have a year off  but  although the christmas  card  game is a strain, actually  do quite  like it  especially the cards  that u get with   a sprigget  of news   and  as my mum always  says  shows  someone is thinking of u   so although  not to sure   how getting a card from felix the  cat   works  as  sat their  for ages   going  a  cat paw  heyyyy but  yer worked it out   in the  end  and who the   human  owner (  don’t really know  him either )

As  my fave poem  says  i am the captain of my fate  so  up to me  if  i send  them back and  don’t think anyone  stamps their  feet  if dont  get  a card  off  louby,   honestly i do  like them, dont  think  cld be like my dad   who asks  my mum to write  his  very few   christmas  cards  your  mates   u do it   bah  humb

I was  feeling   okish about things  before   going to  bed the other  night   when all  of a sudden   thought  were  are my  panto  tickets for  jan ( long way off  but  like the  100 years of the   cubs  need  to be prepared )

I had   put them on top of printer   i am still staying  at parents  and  got  BAD HABITS  of putting things   away  with  out telling , I went  super duper meltdown tearing the place   down and   clenching  teeth on to frabic  all  major symptoms of ptsd aspie   kept thinking wont be in that  cupboard  etc  but  mind on over load and  nearly went out  to check the bins  but managed to stop myself  mainly cos  bin wld not fit  kitchen  i eventually  fell asleep with nightie  torn  to shred   to much info   til the next morn.

The  next day woke  and  rambled   downstairs  and  jumped  around were  r the  panto tickets  , well Louise   i  decided   to put  them in the  safe place   , although  this  was a major  relief  could  not  really shake  my dismay off  although shld be  made up  that tickets  found  takes  ages  to calm  down , I have  a dream  if i  ever get  my treatment for ptsd    when things  go wrong  will manage to  take  it in stride   til then i  will have to reley on my always their mate  invictus  although  as a treat  to myself shld  get    to grips last verse  !!!!

oh well  beyond the  wrath  and tears  lie the  horrors of the  shade   where the menace of  the  years will find  me and find me  unafraid   yey   tomorrow is another  day !!





About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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