caring christmas !!!!!!!!!!!!

umm   every  day has good   spots    well not spots  exactly but   a variation of bad and  good  my ptsd   is loads  worse  at the mo but always is at the run up to christmas   but deep breaths  and  carry on my big  hope  is my ptsd will be treated   next year and   can     walk round  with  out   this  ierodzjfkfv coming  in to my head ( swear   swear  )

massive effort   to go out to  christmas    quiz   convinced  same     questions   every year  always  think  shld  keep  piece of paper  and check on this   not  kidding always   get that   one about the christmas card  and  when   was the   first  one sent  and   who  brought   the christmas  tree over   . my ptsd  did   subside  eyyyy  doing this   think got something  to do  with  subconscious  / conscious  mind   and  felt   in good mood  (   miracles     do happen at christmas  but  not long  after  it was  back as  deciding    what sport  shop  to get   dads  sport bag   errr  to big   to   small   just  right  this  is turning  into    weird   version of    3 bear   well got  it   and   if don’t like  it  ” No/one   ever said  life  wld be   easy !!!

I had decided   to go to carol  service   with candles   surprised    health and safety allow this     especially with me in the crowd   but still mum and dad   normally make  an appearance  but   mum  has lost voice   (  talks to much ) but was  not impressed  when told the holy people   she could not make it at home with the  whiskey!!!

asd per   usual  packed out   but  got  seat  by pleasant  man  and had  a bit of  a competion how many    of our relatives  came to   the  church !!!!!   and then  the candle   came round  with  holy man telling  people  to shout out if   had  any trouble  (  glance    my way \)   !!!! remembered   me from last  year  then  when shouted  out  ouch  in the middle  of silent  night  !!!!

I think  they should  give   candle  holding lessons  as  one year   my candle   became  so  big it was  like an inferno  and   man   behind me   asked it i was  related to the devil   well this  year was  the opposite  as  became as  the wick became   smaller   smaller  til   began to burn  hand so  despite    thinking of the   celebrity  jungle   programme  and    biting  through  pain   decided  to   blow out  this  left one  big  problem   could  not see!!!!   ummm  u   would  think   being the  christmas  season the man  with  his   brightly lit  candle  would   share  his  but  noooooo he   cradled   his  candle and   when  asked if cld   share   his carol  service  NOOOOOh   never mind   it   was   great    fum doing   gymnastics  trying to see   and felt   bit better   abt  my self  hearing  lady behind  say  she was  going to   blow her candle out before    her  coat  went on fire  .

oh well  u had to  laugh,   was in good mood   mr humbug man  mumbled  something    abt not being   share  his light   (  likely story  !!!!! ho ho the  greatest    gift  u can be given is  a sense  of humour    and ability  to laugh  , at times   today  was  one hell  of a state and if wondering   i did   at times   turn to  invictus   I am the master of my fate   yer  cld   have got  really upset  tonight  but  just laugh  gave  me  something to blog abt  !!!!   ho ho


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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