SHATTERED !!! Invictus

Been meaning to  blog   but that  thing  called  life   gets  in the  way ,   today  had  an app  with dr   as my bloods   had been  ultra high    but as i have stated  on lots of occasions  to medical people  my   blood  sugars  are so  high  because i am so stressed out  waiting   for  an appointment for emdr to  calm down the  thoughts i have  which   honestly    drive me  crackers   and i mean  crackers   any how i digress !!

Just before   christmas  I had  a  kind of heart    scan  which  i forget   about  as    don’t   feel  to bad  although  do get  the odd  twinge so u can imagine  my surprise and shock when   got    told    that     their  is   something   growing  in one of the   chambers of the  heart   !!!!!  er wot  really  how can this  be    it  sounds  like something  from et   and  stated   on the letter   not really been seen before  although i am often told   this  !!!!

I must  admit not that  worried  as  been shopping  and walking   all over the  place  although  do get  odd  stabbing pain  ,  I  got my self  in a  slight  frazzle  as if my app is for   10.30   I don’t    expect to still  be siting  over an hour  later  although do  know the   nhs   is  under great stress   and having  no glasses on me  to  read  , umm what shall  i turn  to  Invictus  out of the  night  that   covers me  black as the  pit  from pole  to pole i was getting   stressed    but   never  got   to the  end  as    was   so busy  messing with the  wording  i   had to  called   twice   when name called out .

I feel  a lot  better    just being told   nothing  wrong    with my heart beat  but   their  is  something  kind of   waving in my   heart   ha ha  perhaps  that’s   were   ET  and his   finger   disappeared to  .

I  am the  master of my  fate and the  captain of my soul   nothing  i can  do about    what  is    growing  in heart  but  sure  can  live with it


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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