I probably developed ptsd but not acutely roughly at about the age of 13 after being assulted but kind had it hidden in bck of mind til reignited decades later prob because people really don’t seem to understand the word NO ( I have always been ok at english and kinda of understanding , grammar not to go but i think it u say No well it means what it says !!!
I was diagnosed with asppegers ages ago but i knew that ptsd is different from aspergers although their is similarities as far a s i know i was born with aspergers and that the way it s it i have spent the last decade well more trying to tell people i have ptsd as well as aspergers “” no u don’t YES I DO .
Roughly 2 years ago i got people to believe me mainly be cause kept going back and describing what had happened to me and insisting that telling the past is past and move onto the bright shiny day is not going to work !!
I was put on the waiting list but i was not told that i had to refer myself so was not til months later i decided to ask nothing been done no wonder the place i was supposed to go had done a flit so good no- one realised
I carried on waiting at times my health was further then the rock bottom that people talk about i self harmed and for some absurd reason felt the need to bite I things leaving my teeth in terrible state still i waited . could make a song up but no been done before
i would go back on various occasion to gp but nothing was done and told on the list although once taken off list by mistake yey they did put me back on but at the bottom so the wait continued spot the repetition !!!
last summer i got referral to visit someone yey my day has arrived but no it was cbt but may work on some people but not on a brain that is truly traumatized !! the m an was lovely but no sorry not what i wanted !!! ( do u get in life what u want ))
I rang up on various occasion asking where i was on the list ” oh their is quite alot in front of u but u r on it well that’s something .
The best christmas present I had was being told i am second from top and should not be long which is super duper but every day like a year when got ptsd but last week i was due to meet up with so-called therapist helper , I tried not to expect to much and interrogated him ” do u deal with trauma emdr oooh yes will have to see what the problem is first , so having t elling me about various forms of abuse and stuff like carcashes he said yer u have various traumatic experiences but you don’t have all the symptoms of ptsd mainly i dont have nightmares but i reckon have something worse thoughts of past traumatic events that bounce into head at any time of the day with no warning ummmmm true i was told to go home and think what had been said and meet up in weeks time to discuss what will happen next ummm the wait had been sooooooooooooooooooo long dont say i was going to be the next devon loch and fall at the last hurdle noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo well u will have to wait and see !!! ha
already to meet up a week later !!!