ptsd help emdr 2

AFTER my first  meeting with Rob who is supposed  to be helping  with ptsd  with  living in hope  with Emdr  i was extemely down, i am  not  really a person who would  describe   is  really depressed  more   ANGRY   and it hopeless  saying tomorrow is another  day forget  about yesterday  the  same  thoughts  just flow round  and round !

I am still  quoting  to myself  bit  and  bobs of  Invictus  but   my life is fast  spinning out of  control with problems with osephegeous and  heart    not mentioning my very angry brain !!!

I was   really worried  that  he was  not  going to continue  with this emdr   therapy  that i have been waiting for so long  as i do not   have all the  symptoms of ptsd  I have thought  about this and my friend   told  me  of   her mum who was ill with pneumonia   but did not have all  the  symptoms   so went to see  him with all  guns blazing   and my thoughts  on what had  happened that   the  abuse i  had suffered  as  a kid and  actually people  very rarely  listen  to me  and the word  no !!!

The way  i view  is ptsd an  how it was   resparked making my life   and unbelievable nightmare  , as  told  ROB  it is like   being  frightened of a   toy and  the    toy  is put back in a  box   and hidden  away and then  just because    the box is  found  and reopened    the  nightmare  reoccurs  but this   time  a bit  like Pandora’s   box the   nightmare  can be  put back  in the  box   !!

I was   so relieved that    he  agreed   with me and  told me had         explained  self  very well     but then  told me  could not see  again but wait for  it he could  actually continue   but just  at a different place  ahhhh the  relief  , i was   then told    to think back all  my memories    and the   times   i have   said    NO dont want  to do that  and  not listened  to  !!!

I  made  my appointment for  early  pm    as  that   fits    me   better     as    find   it  very difficult to sleep  so   obviously   am not   an early  bird   when i told  my dad  he went  ballistic  u should have asked for  an early     app   to get   it over  and  done  with   but  i like  to take my time   and their goes    my first   item   of  saying  i would  rather   do it   this  way and being  totally ignored  .

I have not   forgotten   Invictus  although not   really done  the last  verse   and it  is a year  since  he   came  in to life   but   always their    just  thinking   first  line  OUT OF THE NIGHT  that   covers me   , i w ill get out of  this mess  OH YES I WILL      !!!


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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