My mind has been all over the place the emdr that had the other day did not go as well as expected in the following hrs after the first app but that is another story !! ( not kidding i am full of them , sometimes just think will u give me a rest him in the sky keep hoping he will get bored )
Anyhow back to diabetic disasters i must admit not been concentrating on my diabetes as the ptsd has kind of taken over my brain just can t concentrate although do the basics of taking the insulin and test blood sugar really can not be aresed ( to quote phrase ) counting all the carbos and calculating the dose not kidding alot more to this diabetic malarkey them meets the eye !!
I was having an okish day and was shopping in Birkenhead when decided to visit my friends coffee/cake cafe in market very friendly place and staff friends ( enough publicity for smiths coffee pot ) but still the cafe in market so decided to use other toilets for my insulin and lou need the loo !!! so off went not to much info only to say the rest of pm went fine nipped home as was mums birthday she was having friends round which can be noisy and not good if people stay to long so was keeping out of way . i nipped to flat and got to parents bit of a panic came as no sign of my insulin bag nothing outstanding just looks like a make up alarm bells slightly ringing not much though as do have spare insulin and pretty good at guessing doses and then was off to greek place for a meal slight worries about my bag but just kept thinking i will have left it in flat .
The meal was lovely and just had to guess what insulin doses to give but felt okish if feel very dizzy cld be to much insulin or feeling sick need more insulin and could get more narky but i am like that any way !! ha wether blood or high !!!
I slept ok despite insulin worries deep inside me reckoned was not at home and i was 100% correct when i rushed round the next day to check , i was panicky but not panic stricken i thought back to where it was and though back to giving the insulin and went back to shopping centre , i had not been to the offices since being FALSELY ACCUSED OF shoplifting (another story) not the word FALSELY .
Anyhow got to into office asking if any insulin was found in the loos yesterday he said would go and check and came back not long after asking me to describe the bag and the insulin . he seemed unsure but as pointed out No one would be interested in insulin if not diabetic and waved my spare insulin pen at him he said a bag had been found with insulin but not mentioned what else in bag errrrrr no idea needles what else do i need eventually he asked ” what do u need to test blood aahhhh blood machine that’s it !!
HE left the room but came back with another member of staff still seemed unsure abt giving me it errrr how many people would have left their diabetic stuff in lou errrr just me !!!! The problem was that insulin is a drug and may be contaminated yer i get that but really , ok i cld just about get my head around not getting my insulin back but honestly blood testing strips surely no use to no one and not a drug ummmmmmmmm and more mmmmmmmmmmmmmm yer ok u can have them back so off went bit relieved as someone may have got hold of insulin and if some one takes it who is not diabetic well curtains basically !!!
hey ho Think will stick to what the diabetic people say inject in public as not doing anything wrong !!! huh I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul xxxx deep breaths