My mind    has been all over the place   the   emdr    that had the  other   day   did  not  go  as well as expected    in the  following  hrs  after the   first  app but that  is another  story !! ( not kidding i am full of them   , sometimes  just  think will  u give  me  a  rest him in the sky   keep hoping   he will get bored  )

Anyhow back to diabetic   disasters  i must  admit  not been concentrating  on  my diabetes  as   the   ptsd  has  kind of   taken over my brain just can t concentrate   although do the   basics of    taking  the insulin  and  test blood sugar really can not be  aresed  (  to   quote  phrase ) counting  all the  carbos  and calculating  the dose  not kidding  alot  more  to this  diabetic  malarkey    them meets  the  eye !!

I  was having an okish day  and   was  shopping in Birkenhead   when decided to  visit my friends   coffee/cake   cafe  in market   very friendly place and  staff  friends  ( enough  publicity  for  smiths  coffee pot )  but  still  the cafe in market   so decided to use   other  toilets   for my insulin and   lou need the  loo !!!  so off went  not to  much info  only to say the  rest of pm  went  fine   nipped home  as was  mums  birthday   she was  having  friends    round   which  can be noisy  and  not good   if people  stay   to long  so was keeping out of way  .  i nipped to flat and  got  to  parents     bit  of a panic   came as  no  sign of my insulin bag   nothing   outstanding  just looks  like a make up   alarm bells  slightly  ringing not much though   as  do  have spare insulin and pretty  good at guessing  doses and then was off to    greek place for a meal  slight  worries   about  my bag   but  just kept   thinking  i will   have left it in flat .

The meal   was lovely   and  just had to guess what insulin doses to give  but    felt okish  if feel   very dizzy   cld  be to  much insulin or  feeling sick    need more  insulin  and   could   get  more  narky but  i am like that   any way !! ha   wether  blood or  high !!!

I slept ok despite  insulin worries  deep  inside me reckoned   was   not at home  and i was  100%   correct  when i rushed round  the next day  to check , i was  panicky but not panic   stricken  i thought  back to where it was   and though back to  giving the  insulin and went back to shopping  centre  ,  i had not been to the offices   since being  FALSELY   ACCUSED    OF   shoplifting (another story)   not the  word    FALSELY  .

Anyhow got to into office   asking  if any   insulin  was  found in the loos  yesterday  he  said would go and  check and came back  not long after   asking me to  describe  the bag and the insulin  .  he seemed  unsure    but as pointed  out No one  would be interested in insulin  if  not  diabetic  and waved my spare  insulin  pen at him he  said a bag  had been found   with insulin but   not   mentioned what else in bag  errrrrr no idea  needles  what else   do i need  eventually he asked  ”  what do  u need  to test blood  aahhhh  blood   machine  that’s it   !!

HE left   the room but   came back   with another   member of staff  still seemed  unsure abt giving me it    errrr how many people   would  have left their  diabetic  stuff in lou  errrr  just me !!!!  The problem  was  that   insulin is a  drug  and may be contaminated   yer    i get that    but really , ok   i cld   just about   get my head   around   not getting my insulin back but  honestly  blood  testing  strips   surely no use   to no one and   not a  drug   ummmmmmmmm and more  mmmmmmmmmmmmmm   yer ok u can  have them back     so off  went   bit   relieved   as  someone  may have  got   hold of insulin  and if some one  takes it  who is not   diabetic   well  curtains  basically !!!

hey ho    Think   will stick to   what the  diabetic  people say  inject in public   as not doing anything  wrong !!!  huh   I am the  master of  my fate   I am the  captain of my soul   xxxx  deep  breaths


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
This entry was posted in diabetic, emdr, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s