the after math of emdr

well  last week after  my first emdr  which  supposed to   help with the traumatic   events  that   have happened  in my life   well  i  must felt   1110000000000000000 %   better i cant  describe  how if felt    not   to have the   demon in my head   and went to bed   yey this  is great but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH   THE  next day   when  i awoke  the   disapointment  i felt  was incredible   imagine  if mo  farah   and  just abt  to win  the  race and to  fall   or  although  not an  liverpool  football club fan  (  i am bluenose )    u can still  feel   for   STephen    gerrard  as  he tripped   in the  Fulham   match the   trip which  prob cost    lfc   the  title  (   see  not such a   bitter  blue )

my head   was  rushing  around and  past  drama  of   my life  were  back  in my head   can   u ever  get   rid of  the   snake in  grass  !

I   can  do  very little  when the  ptsd   snake  demon strikes   and just mutter  and   swear about everything    but  kept    remembering  wha caertain   drs    had told me  maybe it   would   not work  om me   with my brain   being  kind of   autisitc  but   maybe  that   was  just  other people covering them  selves   !!!!!

alot of  people   suffer   from trauma  not  just  army veterans but  people  who have    suffered   abuse  any type (  i have  !!!0  or    a car crash tick the   box again even   birth   trauma   can cause  problems in  later life   so   their  are many factors   to bring on ptsd  and   what  alot of  people   don’t  realise   it  is not  only the  mind   which  is   damaged but bodily   feeling s  I always wonder   if i  became   diabetic    because  of the  trauma     of  what  have gone  through  i suppose  will never know !!!

The worst  thing   that  I

 

have   with    regards ptsd  is the   desire to   bite  thing  all the time  with my  teeth  i try  to carry soft  things  around  with me to put  in my mouth but  often it is hard things    like pens etc   and just  clench  teeth     so  u can imagine  what  a mess  have  made of my mess   but    that is one  of  hopes  that   the  emdr  will   help not only my brain but  will stop  me   clenching  teeth !!!  although  not to sure how much  help going to get  from  Nhs !!!

I  felt   so well after   emdr  but then  crashed    the  car   straight after   it seemed  but   as my mum  said  you  can’t  expect  it to all  disappear  in one  fine   scoop   yer    shes   right no often    she  is right but this is one occasion    Rome   not  built   in a day  blah blah maybe it to ok   bit longer  !!!!   and  I am the master  of   my fate  iam the  captain of my soul    lets    just  be patient !!!

Advertisements

About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
This entry was posted in abuse, emdr, mental health, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s