well last week after my first emdr which supposed to help with the traumatic events that have happened in my life well i must felt 1110000000000000000 % better i cant describe how if felt not to have the demon in my head and went to bed yey this is great but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH THE next day when i awoke the disapointment i felt was incredible imagine if mo farah and just abt to win the race and to fall or although not an liverpool football club fan ( i am bluenose ) u can still feel for STephen gerrard as he tripped in the Fulham match the trip which prob cost lfc the title ( see not such a bitter blue )
my head was rushing around and past drama of my life were back in my head can u ever get rid of the snake in grass !
I can do very little when the ptsd snake demon strikes and just mutter and swear about everything but kept remembering wha caertain drs had told me maybe it would not work om me with my brain being kind of autisitc but maybe that was just other people covering them selves !!!!!
alot of people suffer from trauma not just army veterans but people who have suffered abuse any type ( i have !!!0 or a car crash tick the box again even birth trauma can cause problems in later life so their are many factors to bring on ptsd and what alot of people don’t realise it is not only the mind which is damaged but bodily feeling s I always wonder if i became diabetic because of the trauma of what have gone through i suppose will never know !!!
The worst thing that I
have with regards ptsd is the desire to bite thing all the time with my teeth i try to carry soft things around with me to put in my mouth but often it is hard things like pens etc and just clench teeth so u can imagine what a mess have made of my mess but that is one of hopes that the emdr will help not only my brain but will stop me clenching teeth !!! although not to sure how much help going to get from Nhs !!!
I felt so well after emdr but then crashed the car straight after it seemed but as my mum said you can’t expect it to all disappear in one fine scoop yer shes right no often she is right but this is one occasion Rome not built in a day blah blah maybe it to ok bit longer !!!! and I am the master of my fate iam the captain of my soul lets just be patient !!!