Heart fiasco !!!

I  have  been  reading lately     various articles / on ptsd  and how  although ptsd    kind of    damages  the  neurons  in the brain and  kinda     makes  u feel     living in a loop   system  imagine  the  same  though t  wooshing   round  like a washing  machine  and u just can’t  stop it   bit like  the   time went to laundrette   and  put the  money in the  wrong  machine and just  stood  their  helplessly  as the   empty  machine  filled  with water  (  well  nought i cld do only   just  pause  and think  wont do that  again   in a hurry   most expensive  wash of clothes   ever  !! ( told u before   just   living  a life of  fiascos !!0

Any how  I digress  !!!    i have  been  reading  that  having  ptsd  affect the  body more than what people  think leading to   various problems    alarm bells  were   ringing  all over the place when    read    total  stress  of living with ptsd    can  bring  on heart   prob  OOOOOOOH  NOOOOOOOOO

AFTER  having  probs   with the  osephogeous last  November     might    as well  blame   ptsd  for  that   as well  (  nothing   to do with me  drinking  gallons of  coffee )   i was   asked to go for  a  hear scan were   they claim to   have found   strange   object in the  heart  ,   not sure  what meant    by strange    first  thought maybe  something  swollowed as  kid but    surely   i wld  remember that   but  sounds like  a long   tube   like thing   which is   brighter  in colour  at the end     and is waving  about    (  really   i dont  like  sci fi  only  ET    and  it  sounds like   his finger )

Any how    i was   due to  go last week for a    detailed   scan   called  a TOE   ummm   mind boggles ,  but do    try    not   to read  to much  in to  various   health probs  as head would  never stop  boggling  .  The  strange odd   thing   was  my appoinment was  for  1.30  middle  of the day so what u   think but  to   type 1  brittle diabetic  (blood sugar like a rollercoaster  this was    just   a diaster    waiting to happen   i rang     various   diabetic   people  only to be  told  oh u will   be fine  have  a  big   breakfast   early morning then   rest  no probs   umm ok  you,re  the  boss   but with  hindsight   and knowing  what happens   next  i shld    have    NO  need  to be  seen  first things other wise  will collapse  as I  am the master of my fate  I am the  Capatain of my soul   but    no i went    along with  the so called professionals   who think they  know best  !!!!!!!!!

WEll   no  prizes  for what happened  next  I began to   feel dizzy and  wooshy feeling   just imagine   how u feel    when drunk    and i mean   drunk times   it  by 10000  and u have it and just lay on the bed  and  then shouted  to parents  ”  tell them i cant do  this ever again no more   scans   nothing rant rant    and more   ranting  . my dad  was  getting me more  annoyed  telling me  to eat something  ” I CANT  COS   this   scan  says  not to )  so in the  end  all trundled   off  into    car  including    6 year old  niece   who was  staying   “lou not well   nought to worry  abt so somehow got to the ward although  it  was FEBRUARY  i felt like  it was  AUGUST in  TRINIDAD  and my  mum   kept  saying “keep  your clothes  on  well  it  dont have to be  Enisten  to realise  what  the  Nurses   did  next  was to  take one  look  and gave me  sugary  drink and toast  and  hung around  waiting  for the blood  to rise up from  two  hey ho  !!!!!

I recover   very    quickly from these kind of hypo  attacks  but  not much good today with   Drs    going to calamity mode  “shes   eaten   so will have  reschedule her  in the AM    can’t have   a diabetic  coming in the afternoon  !1       errrrr  yer   thats  what i said   in the  first place  so with  a quick   cup of tea  and  15  mins  later back    with niece  “told u  the  hosi would make  the better  “”   Eva looked  a picture of horror and  amazement   |( one day   i will  learn how to put   photos  on this and brighten it up   but anyhow   the moral of  little    ditty  story what ever    I  know myself  more than any professional  and  really  speaking   should  have made  more  of a fuss  cos  in the long run  better  for   everyone   if   i had  stuck to  my  guns i would  not be   waiting  even  longer   to see  what is  happening  in my heart  and the  NHS  would not have   reschedule  the appointment  actually i am  amazed that    it is  not common procedure  to put    people  who are  diabetic   first    in such a situation    people    think we  are   fussing   when we  say need  to   eat little  and often  but   it is   alot  easier  in the long run   everyone  knows the  saying    “women  and children first ( that is the  Birkenhead law  thing  claim to fame    i live in Birkenhead 0  but hospitals  and  other  such establishments  shld   say  “let  the   diabetic go first )    oh well   the  anticipation   wait  got a new   date  for the middle  of March to see  wether   ET   has left his finger behind !!!

Out of the night  that  covers me   black as the pit  from  pole  to pole  (  yer sure   it will be fine !!!


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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