Been awhile since given update on the treatment getting for trauma (ptsd) all I can say at the time of writing ( which is now ) i feel 1oo % better than what i have done although has not had its pit falls and have jumped the gun slightly with what happened after my first EMDR session .
Yer i felt fantastic my head felt like it should be sort of gone into place but was not to convinced this was it i would go back to what i used to be like before PTSD attacked my brain and BOY GIRl whatever i was right I was so happy going to bed it was such a relief yey ho a miracle only ffffffffffff xxxxxxx it was to good to last actually that more or less all i got that night before the ptsd and the terrible distressing thoughts struck again and that is what i was like for the rest of the week actually more or less the same as usual biting things could not concentrate and actually thinking this was not going to work the so-called professionals were right because of my aspergic brian this was not work !!!!
I talked to myself and looked online and yer a lot of people do get this shattered feeling like climbed the highest mountain in the world but actually not left the house and so it continued and on top of that i got that stressed about my current heart problems ( well may not be a problem may not be seen yet could not open a bottle of water so did extremely stupid thing even by my standard and opened bottle with mouth and yer u guessed it my tooth disintegrated in my mouth giving me more stress , ptsd does effect the brain stating the obvious but also the body were i get this urge to put something in my mouth and clench teeth leaving my teeth in a terrible state but i just say no use getting my mouth (teeth fixed as til ptsd vanishes like a genie i will have the same problem .
Any how after the tooth cancellation which led to my heart thing being cancelled if on tv u would say all to far fetched i was back in square one and the ptsd was back of week with revenge !!!
I felt if this does not work were can i go for help but my mum and various friends kept saying well u were well for a day which is better than no days and maybe it will slowly improve yer keep on going .
Have not forgotten Invictus he is still with me have always called it a he have no idea why perhaps cos i think of Nelson Mandela when say bit to myself
out of the night that covers me black as the pit from pole to pole yer i am still in the dark pit but must remember I am the captain of my fate i am the master of my soul not to sure if get those lines right and still getting mixed up with captain and master but does it matter NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO as I am in charge no one else people have tole me for years the reason u have got yourself in such a mess is very few people listen yer but no more ho say !!! ha i will continue with the emdr and see what happens !!!
well at least this fall into being severely mentally ill as led me into loads of adventure and always better to be a tigger than EEYORE in life ho hum !!!
for rest of