heart beat !!!

At long last yesterday   was my  heart -scan  been waiting  for this   for awhile  have had   countless  messages    from   well meaning  people asking  how was  I   feeling ,  fine   are   u not worried   er  no  i feel   as  i  always do    although have been  very naughty  lately   drinking   coffee    crime  of the  century (  been  told not  to )   brings  back memories of my my who was forever    saying to, me

Once their   was a girl  who  had   a little  curl   right in the middle of her  foorehead  ( true  naturally  curly hair) just had it   straightened only to  go out  with no coat so  curls   back !!!  digress   when  she   was   good   she  was  very   very   very  good  and when she  was  bad  she   was   (   true  on both counts  i can be    extremely   well behaved  to the  extent    u would   think i had no  problems and then  agian the  monster   errupts    enough of that   !!!

I  have  gone back on the coffe    cos   life  is so  up side   down and inside   down   well if  some says    dont   do  something well   i do  the opposite  cos    my body   etc

ANY how   to much digression   got the  hosi  to give me  early app   due to being   diabetic  not making  a fuss     u cant    expect   a  diabetic  to   go more  than a few  hrs  without muching  highly amused  that the  staff   remembered  me “lets  see  if u can  stay  long enough    to do the procedure     this  time   and shouting  “she callopsed   last time  ”  yer ok  no need to  tell the universe !!!!

Then  the   heart dr   ahhhh  yes    u  calopsed   last time  (   must  have been  elephant   previous    life  lets   get  her in  before  she does  it again !!!!  so  we  were off   trundled  off to a small  room    were they informed  me  they   were not  going  to  put   yuky tube  til  100  % sure   strange      moving   wavy thing still their   makes   sense  (  well  after   some  gel  and a room  full of people  saying  “Ohhhhh their it  is      it was time for   the  yucky tube    to be  swallowed (don’t try  at home )   first  time  they  did   this  to me    i fell   asleep   god    knows  how the   second time    i felt   awful so the   third  time being   yesterday    I was   ready as  i thought yesterday  what    do i do   when in terrific   pain    well not that   religious  think i am an    agnostic   lets   bet   each  way  and then  safe  whatever  happens

NAAAAA h I  remembered   Invictus  (  not kidding  afew  times  recently been  in terrific pain and called   out tome    well that’s  not  true  dont mean  call to him in a God  like    way   but   just remembering the poem    and the  certain   words

such as  the  pain  when  tube     first   goes   down the  mouth ” out of the night  that  covers me  (  this pain wont last for  ever  )REALLLY IT WONT   black   as the  pit  from pole   to pole  (  still  hurts I  thank   what ever  god   may be    for  my unconquerable soul   errrrrr  u actually   get used to and  look at the  screen  at my dancing    thing in my heart   dancing    about  ”  can  u see it  “UMMMMM  bit later  seems  nothing much to  worry   about  as  says    “prob  been  their  seen  an embryo   so always    been  their though not supposed  to    and  bit on the  large  side   but does  not   seem to    cause  u  much problems  ”  so  off u  go   just keep on   eye  on it   ”

In the  fell clutch of  circumstance  i have not   winced or  cried   aloud   (  well  that’s  true   the  dr  gave  me   9 out of  10    good  OH     thought  after    “why  not a  10 “”  !!!!!!

my head  is   bludgeoned   but unbowed !!!  (  well abit sore  but the    minute  i managed to  eat  some   toast   the   nurse  bounded over   u can go   now   .

off i went   had  a bacon   buttie  in the place to live  Bebington  on the  Wirral    and went to a course    learning  how to be happy   ( really     naaaaaah    does   nought for me  I am me   always do my own thing  I am  the master of my  fate I am  the  captain of my soul

Yer   I know     not touched  the    3rd   verse   on INvictus    think  heart   in  pretty   good  nick   plenty  more time for that !!!


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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