ptsd emdr aspie and ocd

ummm  totally  fed  up although still hope  something  can be  done  about  my  ummm well lets say out of ordinary  brain !!!

I think i could cope  fine  if i was  just  aspergic or  just ocd , dyspraxic  but  having ptsd and   what  been told could also be  severe  ocd  is  making  think   will  not  ever   a day free of      distressful thoughts   not much to  ask is it !!!

I mentioned  how i was   feeling  to   the  emdr  man and  he  reckons alot of my rethinking the  same thing   stems from ocd  but    I do  have ptsd   because  of the  various  traumatic  events in my life  but  my  brain  has developed  a pattern of   when   ever  there is  a blank  moment in my brain  distressing thoughts m which loop around this  is were  Invictus  crops up  to help   at the moment  just an odd line   “out of the night that covers me   black as the pit from pole to pole  ” at this   moment in time  i find  this  is the only line  i need  or should  i say  want  as   at the time of writing  i am thinking  i am  stuck like this for  life    not kidding  it is  a total nightmare  but  that line of  INVictus makes me   think   i have not officially been told  nothing  more can be done and yer only really had a handful  of   emdr sessions .

Although   another   dr who deals with trauma  did   warn me before  hand that   because of my autistic  brain he  really did   think emdr would not work cos  of the  way my brain is wired  but have been   reading  a lot  on how to change the  wiring  of the brain and  live in hope i can !!! nad  if the   wiring in a house   does not work  u dont   demolish the whole house

I  was asked  when not in distress  and  if   read  in  a  grp better than  reading alone  as    have to be  very calm to read alone or doing something   like  facebook which   means  have to concentrate  but not  excessively.

I don’t  remember  a time when d id not read although  a friends says  i am very autistic  the way i read  have to read  everything in the  right order and dont like missing  anything out  but   it keeps me going if nothing else  as   nothing beats the  thrill of saying  i have read this .

Countless people  have told  me to try and  stop the loop but find  if so  difficult    but suppose   who would   have thought that Leicester   would have won the premier league  last year   just need  to have some belief  and that is  what  gives me hope


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
This entry was posted in aspergers, dyspraxia, emdr, invictus, mental health, ptsd, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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