no-one on the planet is perfect !!!!!!

Been having ultra  stressful time  ha  i think i have  said  this before    yer   everyone’s  life is  stressful but honestly think u would   really know w hat  stress   was if  me  for  a day   the other   day i went  for   supposedly emdr  session  supposedly to  help with  PTSD  but  ROB  reckons    it is ocd  and intrusive thought  which is  the main problem and   going over  over   a nd over the same thing  according to him  everyone  has intrusive thoughts   but  most people  just  manage to  knock them  away  like a tennis  player  but i cant seem to be able to do  this  ,

I  say Invictus  to myself ( well   bits of it   ) and sometimes try and set it to  music at the  moment  i am not going past the  line   “OUT of  the pit  tha covers me  and then  say  out   out   out  repeatedly  and it is  the  word  out  that  is springing up at me  one  day  hopefully my head  wont be in this  torment   .

AT the  same time    i am thinking  you are   stuck with this   for ever  and the only time   i am going   to  be   at full peace is when  dead !!!! cos i am really  at peace    when asleep  ,  this   is why   never  want to  get up and out of  bed  but  I am the master of my fate  I am the   captain of my soul  and their   are times  when i am happy or happyish  (  is that   a word )

According to ROb  everyone has bad thoughts   which i suppose is   true   this   rises a  smirk   like   i suppose  the   Queen  must get    bit fed  up cutting  ribbons   and  even the  pope  must   get fed  up with  patting people on the head !!!!

I read  alot of psychology books  actually i  will  read   any book in the   universe  but nothing  on  LFC football club  for   personal reasons (  if u  happen  to be a red xxxx please don’t   hold this against me   quite sure   u dont    read   stuff on the  bluenoses !!!!! )

anyhow this   famous  psychologist   abraham maslow  according to    Wikipedia  is the 10th  best   psychologist in the words (  so not the best )  and   invented  this pyramid of  needs or something    but the other thing he  noted  most importantly   is no-one on the  planet is perfect  and  everyone  has  off/ on days   , I think  rob  the Emdr   was  trying to make  me feel better   and he did   but only  by 2% , their  are people  who are  really good  ultra  very annoying   my mum is very saintly  and  annoys  me   with   her  putting   everyone  else before  u   this  is how  u lose  your life on a sinking   ship by being   nice  to  nice !!!

I think my head is in a very dark   place at the  moment but  sure with bit of  care   things will get better  !!!  famous last words  as no-one can be nice  all the  time not even  my mother and  God have i seen her lose it !!!!!


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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