hi Just letting Invictus still round and about but in a slightly differnet mode so to speak !!
TO lazy to read back but think told u that have got pure ocd along with the aspergers and ptsd and the rest just being me people take very notice of sore finger but does not really effect me or others !!!!
I was talking to my Ptsd man who also deals with other brian probs and says alot of my thinking is down to loops in brain so every time understress or not thinking in a deep way the loop begins to wirl round and head full of swearing puke i honestly cant think of anything worse !! and the prsd just adds another layer so to speak .
Anyhow Invictus is about but in a slightly differnet way although still got various lines that are not right and seem to give me difficulty such as the bit about the gate and tend to forget the menace of the years but actually do quite like that line !!!
I was advised by mr PTSD to try and stop the twirling of the loop by quicky jumping to something else and maybe not the whole poem but just bits or words ummm sounds easy but it is does not bit like asking me to support another football team or politiical party ( to set in my ways >
I went to calderstones park in Liverpool kind of home of the reader and the sun was shining , I have started reading THE great Gatsby have seen the film with leo but been told the book is so differnet so the walk and 2 buses just flew by and was just begining to get the gist of it ( hell we are here got to concentrate or will fly past the bus stop , anyhow enough digression all was well at caldies talking books shakespeare and Invictus followed by dawdle round the park if I could blog properly i could dec\orate this with lovely pictures but i cant so i wont !!!
I was traveling back home when i could feel the thoughts come back so picture m e on the bus saying OUT OUT out of of the night night etc and repeating each word i made patterns about saying one word once then twice etc reallt will have to get the coffee down me but did seem to slow down the wheel of thought more tham saying the whole poem but at the same time was not quite tight as like to say the lines fully as actually mean something OUT OF THE NIGHT THAT COVERS ME ( (yerr one day will be free from this !!! live happily ever after !!! ummmm but does more than just repeating the words countless times think will just have to experiment as it is like being on a swing u have to keep moving your legs up and down other wise will just grind to a stop but i have to stop the wheel going round my head !!!
Moist people know about |Invictus and NELSOn mandella and at first thought well bet he never made word games with Invictus but thinking about he probably did !
I at times think i an going somewhere with all this and at other times seem to be standing still but nothing wrong with standing still and just observing !!! for
I am the master of my fate I am the Captain of my soul !!!