I sometimes think my personality is one of extremes , very often it is one of suicidal despair and at others i am sooo happy people are wondering what it is I have taken !!!
I suppose my pessimistic self could be called Eeorye i would not say i am an pesssimist or an eternal optisimist per haps just a realist !! when i am happy grab it tightly and probably to extremes as dont know how long this feeling will be with me .
I know a few people who seem to be always a n Eeyore and try to avoid them as they try to drag me down with them , win a tenner on the lottery , one more ball i could have won alot more !!! the glass is never full just 90 %
yesterday was a bad day not going into yet as still processing it all !!! although been told writing everything down helps u get things in the right place but no got Eeyore on my head for today ( digressing again )
I often wonder how my life would have panned out if did not have all these difficulties yer my general health would have been better but having a tigger head at times u have to see an obstacle as something to get over and you learn from it ummm that’s is so corny but true i would not have met various people or visited certain places if not for the various health probs .
I am hopeless at craft but at the same time do quite like doing it as can go off in to my own world years ago i did some sort of child tapestry took ages and not of a very good standard but i liked it but remember turning it over and was completely different even more messy and was at first very disappointed but years later yer thats sums up the tapestry of life , u have to the yucky side to get the best !!!! umm actually my Eeyore side but surely things dont have to be this bad!!!!!!!!!
I know i sometimes take to much notice of my eeorye side and may have concentrate to much on the bad , than the good if been given a pile of books may dwell on the one that was bad in the pile instead of the 10 that were good ( actually i very rarely give up on reading something entirely may put it on one side for another side but naaah dont give up .
I don’t like people giving me advice although maybe come back to it another time but when in a frazzle ( nice way of saying it ) the last thing i want is people saying stop worrying about the future or dwelling on the past live in the moment ahhhh you havent got a brian like me but they are right this is when invictus comes in with It matters not how strait the gate and or how long the scroll I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul . ( something like that ) i am the boss of my life although must admit dont mind advice off most people think its just my parents ( what do they know )
I find it very difficult when the pure ocd ptsd aspie brain totally explodes i keep collecting these weird things but I am not a tv just find it so difficult to change channels always amuses me if watching tv with my dad as he jumps channels all over the place when adverts claiming “oh i don’t want to watch that ” wow so easy if only I could do that !!!
i think we often become a prisoner to public opinion yer it is good to think of others but also got to think of self and speak up , my mum worries alot about what people thibnk especially having a daughter who tends to speak her mind she thinks people will badly of her cos of my loud statements and if people ask for my opinion well i will tell cos they asked me for it i went to pick a dress with a friend once i am not interested in fashion but my mate said ” yer but u will tell me the truth and thats what i want ”
I read an awful lot tried to avoid self help books as they dont do what they say but they do have their uses because of my weird !!!!!! head i love books on the brain but i used to worry about getting books about mental health out of the library as did not like them seeing what was reading but for awhile now realise it should be no difference about getting a book about brain disorder then a brain health one and could spark up a conversation about mental health cos thats what people need to do !!!
oh well need a tea tomorrow is another day ( groan) !!!! ha need to put on rose tinted glasses and not the murky ones