i HAVE  VERY  LITTLE  PEACE   in  cos     i  have  discovered      this    strange   thing  pure ocd  which is   kinda   relative of   aspergers    but    seems  to get out of   control  when   you  are under severe  stress   !!

TODAY I WENT    TO  a local   church were  they  had a  community  showing  of an old   film called  the   fast lady     very  slap stick   which i am not  a big fan of   I never  find it funny     people  falling   over  and  very  obvious  jokes  but  perhaps  i am  in the  minority AS   THE  Rest  of the   room was  in uproar  apart from   my friend  from the  Shakespeare   reading     grp  who    was also not laughing  which made me  feel    bit   better   not that  it matters  that  we  are all different  that  what makes   the  world   unique   that  we are  so different    I did  not     find  that much peace here  though   as thoughts  from   my dreaded  head   kept   popping up  perhaps   because i was   watching  a film   that although u did  not have  to  concentrate  a millimetre     was  not     something  i   got   totally    absorbed in

Yesterday    after    finishing  and have  off my sessions with   the   emdr   for ptsd   which was   not much emdr    which was   helpful    and  alot of  chatter  which is not  helpful  as  like my thoughts   every thing    just goes  round  and round   just  like  a roll of sellotape  and   it   is just impossible  to  find the  end !! ho hum   so was  not really   at peace   here   !

I went  to my Shakespeare    grp after   were  we  are  reading  merchant of Venice     i get    abit lost with   alot of   the speeches  but     must  admit    right   the  way    through  the grp  i was  at peace    perhaps    cos  concentrating   on   the  text and   because  i  kinda  run   it with  my friend   i was   very conscious   that    everyone  had  a turn but  their  was  no torment of    thoughts  and  felt   great   this morning  when  she  told me  she  got  a bit  lost with  Shakespeare  and  i said    well i am supposed to be   running   it and  not much of a clue  but    DYL commented   ” well  you cant tell  you  just  spring into life like  blossom    um if   u say so  ut think their  is something  and  escaping mental health and   thinking  deeply about other things  as   i am  at  some sort of peace here  although    stress  still forms  luckily my friend Marion  helps  with  all the  teamaking  each to their  own I say !!

I  came across by accident   some  sort of poet / saying man    he seems to  have alot of meaningful   quotes  which  are thought  provoking   !

In the  rush  and  noise of life as you have intervals of peace   step home  and within yourselves  be  still   which is true  i do try to be still  but it   is only  when i am in land of nod  that i am at true peace  I often  think  the world rushes to much and when  we come  home and  relax thats were  find  peace !!! but  again  each  to their own   whilst  writing  this   i am at peace  prob  because  i am thinking  what to  say although as  you can tell    not bothered   about  grammer  !!!

I am jealous  of people  who find peace   with  God   i am in the middle  when  comes  to   religion  but  am known in a  local  church  although don’t   go to the  services   just the    fairs   reading  grp  and   film club   but   each to their own as  what   ever makes  you happy is  like   coming home !!!


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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