we all have dreams supposedly the ones that we aspire to be not talking about the ones we have when we visit the land of nod !!!
I have been ill the moment arrived on the planet and even before waddling around in my mums stomach but this is not me throwing a pity party don’t tend to do that just saying that’s why I have never had dreams of a certain life just get through it !!! !!! I remember ages being told to always aim for the middle not the top or bottom and you are more likely to be happy , yer thats what I tend to do but so many people like my parents say things like ” well next time you might get a higher mark NOOOOOOOOh
All I actually want in life is just one thing which i suppose is a dream the thoughts or scars left behind from a traumatic childhood so i can think and be and the actual dream of living in the present !!!
If I look back at my life alot of my life has gone wrong cos wrong place wrong time although was told by someone who had dealt with traumatic life experiences you were not in the wrong place or time cos not yr fault but at times in life i am in the right place right time which has led me to different places t hat you just cld not dream of going !!! especially as don’t like leaving merseyside as we have everything well not mountains !!! but can live without them !!
the hardest thing to do for me is to be here now not in wallowing in past or imagining horror stories of the future so just BE HERE NOW !!! AND SO JUST STAY THEIR SO MANY Things that happen in life you can’t do anything about so if u plan a picnic as thought hot weather forecast but it pours down so nought you can do so cursing and screaming and fist throwing is not going to change anything so why do i live in the past when what has happened has happened but can not really be changed !!!
I suppose if u give out a negative life you creat more negative thoughts that’s why the other day when down in the dumps went to a singing cafe at a local community church and must admit was chronically ill walking their but felt better once started singing
I have been told to take things in little steps like stepping stones that is why still say my adoptive poem Invictus at times during the day sometimes it calms sometimes it does not but someone said one day you will reach the other side and then wow !!!!
Hopefully i have a dream that after years of chronic distress I will become a magnet of good times and feelings but to be free of the thoughts in my head would be the greatest dream of all !!!
we are here and it is now what else is their KOBI yabada not forgetting one day i will be out of the night that covers me !!!!!!