be happy !!!!!!

That I reckon  is the  number one  wish in the  world   to be happy used to   annoy me a bit as kid   when  a story  ended  with THEY ALL LIVED HAPPY  EVER AFTER     bit  mushy   and  at the    time   i did  not   know   what was   before  me in life so not so big ask I thought !!!

Today  it is   what  i  want more than  anything and  i reckon also 6.7 billion that live on the  earth  want    but   y  is it so difficult .   I  am an   avid   reader  and  yeons ago    decided  to give   up on self   help   books  as  someone  mentioned to  me   why  is their so  many  if it  worked   their  would be only one !!!! true  but  people   still go searching !  for the  holy grail   so to speak.

I can’t be  bothered to look at  amazon but   reckon their   be  a fair  amount  of   books on self  help  or how to be happy !!!

MY mum  has  been  researching  the   family tree  and   ask   now and then has   she   come  across any  murderers   or such  like and i am  having  this  life  of  because of misdeamoners  of past relatives !!! I  have  even in  the  distant past   wondered  if i  was  possessed  with evil spirits  and   went to church  praying   for  deliverance  but  to no avail !!!

I  have been  aspergic    since birth   so used to it  although  it does  cause   various problems but talking to   a trauma   specialist  who  in the  end cld not help me says it is our way back ancestors  who are to blame   as  the   caveman lived in tense times  and the brain   if suffered from severe    trauma  cannot  tell the  difference  between a truly awful  traumatic  experience and   something like  slept through  the  alarm !!  so that   thing  that lies  between the   ears   has  alot to  answer for!!! but   we live in hope  and   have  decided  the thing  to do   is  keep  brain busy without    tasks and thinking things  that’s   why   kinda   learnt  Invictus    so  yet  again  live in hope  ,  I am the  master of  my fate   I am the    captain of my soul  or is it the other  way round    Nahhhh  right    first time   around    but like  being  a  contestant  on tv  programme  perhaps    do  not  search  to far   for  happiness  just be  !!!! harder than  what    u think ummm

someone   said once  “all  miseries  derive  from not being   able to sit    quietly in a room  well  that is my   dream   with no horrific  thoughts n head and just be happy


Out of the   night    that  covers   me  black as  the pit from pole to pole perhaps  one day


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
This entry was posted in aspergers, happiness, mental health, ptsd, pureocd, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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