In the genes !!

i have   various  mental   health  problems and  type    1     diabetic  and my mum has addisons  disease   and nan    thyroid   probs   but   various  mental  health   things  abt     my cousins  son  has  aspergers   and one of my cousins  i bi polar

One of   the  main  questions i get  asked     is anyone in the  family    like  you   ” errr  no i am  me their  is only  one of  me   and  thats   the   way it is   alot   of problems   come   from life   events      not     the fact   got  this  list !!!     they are   at present   looking  at  adhd  although at  first   was   deeply   shocked and  saying “no  -way  I  have  read    up about  it  and   it seems  to be  different   between the   sexes    i am  more of the mind  going   millions  of mile an  gr and  just  cant organise   self    never   really  finish    anything  and one  my main things    getting over   excited  whilst  talking  and interrupting people as   cant wait  to tell people     this is   all completely different   from    when i was    a  kid and   very   rarely  opened  my mouth  outside    my home   !!!

I   am wondering  does my  brain  change or  do  life  events    again  change   , my life    changed   for the  better    once  meeting the   reader org    developed    tons of  confidence and   cld  put    my fetish  of  reading    to good use !!!

People   will often  say   ”  you dont come  as across  as aaspergic  or   just  recently   adhd      but  i  know  I am    maybe   not  the  way media   likes to  portray   people with  these  health    probs     such as maths   genius  and   very   quiet    ,   i am  neither  or if   adhd    running  around  like   a maniac    and never still   .  Another one is  ocd   which also  have    but is only  really  shown   as  someone  putting    things in  straight   lines       my pure   one is    more    distressing  as same  intrusive  thoughts    rush round    so cant  concentrate  on what  should be doing !!

Awhile back    it    was thought  in time    be able to  find the    autism  gene and   it may not  be   around no more  , I know   their is  different   variations of    autism  but  on the   whole    think we   would be  missed  if   we  were not   around  no more as   we   do have   something  to thing   (  think things  differently    very  reliable )   but  on the  whole   it is a battle   each day   some  days  think winning the  war and other not but    found  it  very distessing    may  not be    around  in times  to come . I   believe    you   are   born with     the   vast majority  of brain  probs   i had a massive   brain hemmorage   so maybe   it is to do  with that   but anyhow     i have   always had it  so  even if      someone   said   ”   right   would    you like   us to get   rid of it   “”      their  are sides  I would  say  yer   get rid of  this      bit of it  but not  that   bit     reckon  not   allowed  to be that  picky  !!!

I can see   the  importance  of looking into   genetic help for   something  like   CF  or  some   people  who have  the   so   called  breast  cancer   gene    but    it   so difficult to    find  have    heard  somewhere  or other   that  it  is  like  going to a massive  library  and    being   told   that    in one   of the books their  is   a word   miss pelt and  you have to  find   it  wow  gives me  a headache   just thinking about  it   so think     be   careful  what  genes   we  are   searching for  !!!    I often   think  what life   would be like  without  these   so called  syndromes    and life   would be   easier but often  think  i would  miss  it  as   am never  bored   well hardly ever  !!!!!  and    ideas  non stop   although perhaps they  are a bit bizarre    such as      rewriting    Shakespeare   into   scouse   but   soon  bit fed  up !!!!

I  suppose  we all have  good  and  bad  elements  but  if   you find the   right   thing  then you shine  like   crystal  and the light  comes through    .

fight on     or  I am the master of my fate   I am the  captain of  my soul



About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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