In life    it    is really     like being on a pendulum     continuously  up and down     and hard to   stay   in the middle  , I    am still waiting for   a proper  result  of  my adhd   what ever  !! but must  admit   at times   i  am  really   surfing  on top  of a wave  only  to go crashing   off  !!!

My mum is   nothing like  me   she  will ways   put  everybody else  before her   which sounds  wonderful   but not  when   your  own self    suffers   as a result  ,  I do get  annoyed   when   people  say    “You are nothing like your mum    ”  that’s because   I am  me and  although  it   is  a  good thing to do to help others   i have   learnt   over the   years it  is good  to look after   yourself otherwise     everybody suffers   i cant do my voluntary   work if i don’t   look after as    blood sugars   go to  pot  and  my  brain is whirling    like a  tornado .

It is not good   to be so hard on yourself   with your so called inner  critic    and  maybe     do as i do   develop   a sense of humour  or  be   show self more  compassion .

I am  rarther  accident  prone   and   although   do well  in middle    distance    running   am really  not agood    team player   so   i just laugh  ,   awhile   back i       came   last in a  game of  skittles     but   actually  got   a wooden  spoon   whilst the  winner   just  got    round of applause  whilst i got both

If the   inner  critic    was   to shout at  myself   ”  can’t catch    bowl    whatever i    would  just  begin to feel  depressed  and      only   really harming  self !!  but to laugh or    use  self    compassion    their  is  just    “oh well    at least     will  deffo do   better     next time !!!

I have often     read   bits on buddhism   although  not good   at  following it   but it suggests  inlife   do    three   things     1  self compassion  (  done that  so really    don’t  use     the   british    stiff   upper   lip but  be kind or   laugh )

2   have   a sense of   humanity   I  know that   are   some people who   seem to be   good at  everything    and not kidding    gets   a bit   boring   when they    are    a success  at everything    when  they actually  dont   become  the   top   star     they  honestly    are  destroyed    so better  to  realise that  all  humans   fail at  something  it is  part of being  ourselves  ,  a  Gp    said to me  once  ” do  u  play  cards  ”    errrr no  not really    he  then    ”  you have      a really   awful  set  of  cards  to play with but   actually  play with the  cards      you got        really well  !!!  umm   M AYBE      WOOAHHHHH    ACCEPT       COMPLIMENTS    YEP  i DO !!!

3     MINDFULNESS     JUST KNOW WHAT IS   GOOD  FOR   YOU ( HA Not writing  in capitals  and slow   down and look  around  you  !!huh  shattered  now   so  lecture of life  over going  for a cuppa

feeling  quite    calm  now    Out of  the  night  that    covers  me black as   the  pit   from the  pole to pole






About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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