open doors to self

The  time will  come

when with elation

You will  greet     yourself arriving

at  your  own door and  in your own   mirror

and will  smile at the  others  welcome

and say  sir here  eat

You will love  again the   stranger who was your  self

give wine  give    blood    give  back  your heart

to itself    to the   stranger  who loved  you

all your life   whom you  ignored


TAKE  DOWN  THE  letters   from  the bookshelf

the   photographs   the  desperate  notes

Peel   your own image   from the  mirror

sit  feast on  your   life           DEREK WALCOT     1974

I am not   poetry  person   to many   novels   in the world  and   new  info   but   sometimes  something    intrigues me and makes me   think  and   typing  out the  words      totally   relaxes me   although   since   i met     My  Invictus   think it   will be    with  me for  ever !!!!

People  have    often  asked me    about  wills  and  have said    ”  wont be here  not my   problem but   lately   have  felt     don’t   want  to   burden people  and deffo  want

Invictue!!!!  ha   now to the  poem  above

Ummm lots of nice   images about  doors and openings   how do   u  view  a new  start    an opening   an arch a   door  is often  so intriguing

I think  with the opening lines it   is   about being   you   and  enjoy being   you as   no one  else  can be you     I am pretty  sure  one of   the   reasons I had  a  breakdown was   i was    always  trying to  fit  into others  way of being   instead of  my own  to  the   extent that    y ou    hate   yourself and  wld    do anything  to be  you and  is very   hard to    take  away   your own shackles   and  be  who   supposed  to be

It is  one of the   hardest   things   in life   to  accept      compliments  if  someone  say   ”  you are   good at  something     tend  to    go ” OH  NO    i am  not   instead of thank  you

I don’t   think their   is any one who  has got   some  sort   of    past  but   suppose     that  is  what  is  brings  us to what  we  are  today !!!  and   how ever hard it is   shld relish  it   must    admit  ptsd   has  more or  less   destroyed  me but   lets    say   bit of a  cliché    but   life   is a rollercoaster the  highs   are   high and  the lows are   low  !!! oh well  something   to think about  but   still   prefer

Out  of the  night    that   covers  me  black as the  pit from pole to pole !!!


About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
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