phones ahhhhhhhhhhhh ( how long)

I dont like phones   i dont like  them   ringing  and  not  to keen on ringing   people  up    seems   crazy  in this phonemad world   but their   u go  nought so   queer as  folk  they make me   nervous     and think for  ages   before   phoning people although   a relief   after   committed self  !!!

I was  not feeling to bad   consider    the  escapades with my  dad   and off i  toddled   for a catch up with   Dr   about  ocd intrusive thoughts   / ptsd  otherwise   known as  the   hell inside my head  before planning  to go   and   get   my dad    some  more   gear  for hosi   i was  feeling okish  and so the  dr  said come   back in a month   to check up on things    as had  been going   fortnightly although    i dont  really get   on with medical  people   or otherwise   unless tuned  into my    sense of  humour not keen on  drs  etc  who stare at the  computer  screen !! instead of looking at me  but still i heard the  mobile   off yuk nooooh    i had things  on  mind  were  was it  and was  all hands /arms  as   looked for it    did not   get  to it  in time  and  then  managed to get the   caller it  was my mum telling me   my dad  was coming out of hosi tomorrow   prob   note the   prob  but this was  today  not  tomorrow   the news  cld have  waited  til   arrived   back  with the  mission of  new pjs   etc   but then all  hell  broke out   in cld  not   find  my  little  holder  with  bus pass    money cards   and my precious library card    which meant ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  and again  ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  and worse   it  was lost and  would have to go through the  rigmarole  of new cards  for   everything   and hsbcmz hbskzd,xn vmb\.eanzmdv xc and other  unpronounceable     words   shld  not  ring  me    were  had  i put   i stormed  back up the  hill   home  and a friend  shouted  out from their   step  ”  is yr  dad ok     seeing my ” i am going  to explode  and a bit   worried   how  loud   my djasghjsvwohsjvn was  ”  yer  fine   its   just have lost  my pass  and  everything  , i arrived   back at at parents  why did  u ring  me  aahhhhhhh  thought  u would    want to  know about    yr  dad  noooooooh cld have   waited  ahhhhhh and then  i went  up stairs  and  guess  what   their was my special  package with all  my  cards in   aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah  deep  breath  all is  well with the  word  and  i can  breathe  again and not long off  toddled  of  for   new pjs   with strict  instruction dont   ring me  i dont care

so thats  how  i am    everything  in the right  place than lose something   or a phone call out of the blue  and the  world with  in  my   head  totally explodes  i calm down  pretty   quick but  it is always   rather    worrying   who has  seen me  in this   state   !!!  what i would  do for a  life  which just ambled  along  i   often    think how   nice  it would be in a    residential  home  were u  went   for  little  trips and  was  all  cosy and watched tv   with   no worries  of the outside world .

I was   all  calm and  waiting  for my   big  bro  to  arrive  from wales  when  the  dreaded  phone  went  again it was  a lady from adhd  services  sounding  hopeful   i    said  i was Louise  thinking it  was   going to  be shorter  than  the 18  months   for help with adhd /add  but no hocus  pocus   it   was  asking if  wanted  to  stay  on the   waiting list  as  now the  waiting  list  had   gone up to   3   year AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wha how long  course  i want to  stay on the list    but why is  it   so long is it  the    Rory    bremner   (  wotever)  effect ,  the lady   said this  was the way things  were  and   with    aahhhhh  keep  me  on the list  i  put the phone down   .

i was fuming  and  stamped  about   alot  always  helps before  cld   explode   to much   big bro arrived   with    little  Eva  and off  to visit   dad in  hosi were  i spent  most of  the   time  in cafe with  Eva  who realised  that a n ill  grandad  was not the same  as a well one at home  ahhh deep breath tomorrow  is another   day or  as i prefer to  say

i am the master  of my fate  i am the   captain of my  soul  ho hum




About loubyjo

I have all my life been fascinated by words and books especially I used to have this strange idea that I could read every book in the world well maybe just 80% of them . My life can at times be really stressful as suffer my brains wires are all wonky which results in me having aspergers syndrome thats probably where all my crazy ideas spill out from !!!IIIalso have ocd which results in my thoughts getting stuck in my head causing me lots of distress , but hey what is perfection and if i ever met a perfect person it would probably send me fast asleeP AND YOU AS WELL SO iIam hoping to use this blog to let you lnow what it is like to be me !! in the last few years also discovered got ptsd this is were most of probs stem from
This entry was posted in adhd, aspergers, emotions, explosion, hidden diability, humour, mental health, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to phones ahhhhhhhhhhhh ( how long)

  1. Oh Lou. Love your blogs – they make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me feel alive.

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