This week has been a very exciting but at the same time full of emotions .
I have been to Edinburgh to try to get some funding for fave charity the reader with the founder Jane !!!
I have not been to Edinburgh since I was 13 AND MY MUM TOOK ME as just been diagnosed diabetic I was very thin and just getting used to the rigmarole of blood testing and hypos hypers !! low and high blood sugars (nightmare )
I am well used to it but the diabetes is way out of control mainly because stress so many brain problems that plan to just get through day
I was all ready to go on my trip although not meeting Jane til 5.30 so plenty of time to zoom to visit go for quick dabble with Shakespeare’s midsummer night dreamy thing on the whole pretty easy to follow but really mind not on it , not over keen telling people were going but mate Marion got it out of me and kept wanting to sing a good-bye song when I left .
The buses have chosen monday to be their main strike day so waS pleased to get home and quick make sure got every thing insulin pens (not to write with inject testing strips tablets books dosh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well as long as GOT me and insulin will survive .
I GOT TO STATION WITH PLENTY OF TIME MUST ADMIT TIME KEEPING on whole not bad although mum and dad had insisted coming with me but maybe on hindsight good thing as when got to Port sunlight station went on the platform for Chester with mum and dad on other side (after parking car ) shouting ” where u going ” oh yer anyhow got to Limestreet had a cuppa and went to see Doddy and so called egg woman ( bessie bradick) or something but no their AHHHHHHH have they put him elsewhere am i in the right place i walked round incase he was hiding bit difficult for statue to do and then bounded back to parents ” he’s not their no did y doddy what to do but they just laughed and told me to go back to where he used to be before station done up umm o anyhow i did that and all well and abit of scramble but got train to Wigan !!!! always have a slight errr when we off but not long and in Wigan station but getting off was more or less as instant as mash an announcement made the train to Edinburgh had been cancelled , good to know curse of lou still alive and well it flashed through mind ” does this mean its all off as not much staff about a train to Glasgow came in can we go on this we asked no hang about for an hr and get the next one oh ok fine nice cosy waiting room and took insulin and had munch , my blood was much better than before it was sky-high in the 2os but just gave more insulin and fine ( not easy staying alive business )
All fine got train persuaded Jane to sit by window as she is a lark and i am an owl and have totally different sleep patterns so she cld doze off if she wanted and i cld get out to go loo !!!
The train was relatively amusing as although very late at night their was numerous children all around 6 and younger so had songs of the muffin man at various intervals ( used to love that song) and a boy of about 3 who had a balloon which sailed over to me on various intervals so fun all round
so off to find hotel pretty easy to find on princess street overlooking the park which is the kind of place I like atmospheric with walls full of stories to tell me and giant black door with a massive picture of Queen to welcome us , was something to do with the British empire something which at times makes me feel bit uncomfortable with but their is good and bad to every thing and reading through the book about the works of place not all bad !!v
I was at the top of the hotel ( mad woman in attic ) loved it especially the stairs and wondered who has been here in generation past but no time for imagining it was zzzzzzzzzzzzz time but was made up cos of +1 I cld watch the news on itv always feel happier cos although in Scotland I love to know when the sun is waking up and going to sleep ( no idea why yep aspergic people are odd but harmless it just makes me feel better nought against other channels just like to know zzzzzzzz took insuin which was slightly off key but not to bad and a quick think about going to say tomorrow i tend to play around with invictus or tales of the reader constantly but never write it down just play with thoughts in head zzzzzzzzzzz
great nights sleep and lovely breakfast with of course porridge which i adore and kippers yum not had proper kippers for yeons and yer i had forgotten how bony the are ( not something to eat in rush )
With bit of time to spare I went walk- about I don’t like practicing to much what going to say cos will get in massive panic if forget something so Jane was left to practice ( hindsight is a wonderful gift and maybe Janes way is better but think i know what works for me and went to park and just sat on bench and admired the various statues and did a quick re cap of fave poem that does not require an introduction
OUT OF THE NIGHT I THANK of the night that COVERS ME BLACK AS THE PIT FROM POLE TO POLE
I THANK WHAT EVER GODS MAY BE FOR MY UNCONQUERABLE SOUL NOT SURE IF SHLD DO THE WHOLE Think AND THEN FINISH WITH WELL DONT LIKE TO CALL IT A MANTRA BUT IT IS SOMETHING LIKE THAT
I am master of my fate I am captain of my soul umm will see what happens !!!!
I am surprising relaxed , and love the set up Edinburgh it is set up for someone l like me likes to know were everything is but here is super cool as there is really just one line of princess street and the park opposite and little side streets leading to other squares so really to me impossible to get lost so went wandering to a little cafe in a basement ( don’t see the point of being somewhere new going to costa / Starbucks even subway as they are everywhere contrary to belief autistic s do try new things if their decision , the cafe was friendly and the minute I spoke the waitress was made up when heard my accent oh yey scouser i have got few mates in liverpool cld not be bothered telling him from Wirral so a plastic scouser ha
Met jane we were talking about were we cld go and looked up libraries and saw one library of mistakes about business and were gone wrong very useful and went to find it which we did and looked – so interesting and like fairy world mystery , so went off exploring and down lovely alley being made in to yuppie flats their it was but the door was shut and went to away but decided to go back and knock but by now we knew had made one massive mistake shld always let people know you are coming so they are in so nought u can do lets have a cuppa and wait for Gemma coming up from the pool to do the business plan.
I was relatively relaxed maybe too much as a dr told me who reckons have got a form of adhd / aspergers and my brain flips from one to the other just wish cld be somewhere in the middle , any how off with bit of time to spare I am one of these people better 10 mins early then 5 mins late !!
I had forgotten about it being Halloween and the staff were ultra friendly dressed up and so felt as known some for yeons not minutes and then to so called green room ( not green never is will have to look into why u are waiting for something is called green maybe cos think going to puke !!!!
I felt fine til got in the room and got the shock of life ( maybe not their was so many people in this room for some reason had the apprentice and ” you’re fired on mind so was full expecting 3 people obviously not Lord sugar but not this many people and bang we were off must admit i have always been good at middle distance running not anything were u just go !! so my head was beginning to waffle !!! LOOking back think i was so time conscious ahhhh not to go over 4 minutes that made me waffle more than i meant and was getting more and more panicky just like the Faulty towers Episode ahhhh Dont mention the war but although felt was falling into a massive hole just thought get to Invictus which i know more or less off by heart although been say ing it every day for over 18 months their is always a bit that get tangled up but that is part of what i do just play with it which i reckon what Nelson MANDLEA DID SO YER WENT BLANK BIT IN BUT JUST CARRIED ON AS HAD IT IN THE READER POETRY BOOK AND THEN IT WAS BUSINESS TALK AND THE SPANISH INQUISITION WHICH UMMM NOT REA;;Y TO SURE WETHER SHLD COMMENT OR NOT BUT JUST FELT I SHLD IF I KNOW SOMETHING I MIGHT AS WELL AS SAY AS A MEMBER OF THE VOLunteer AND A READING GRP MEMBER DO KNOW HOW IT HELPS PEOPLE AND DEVELOPS A Sense OF COMMUNITY !!
THEn on the way home with a mad dash but just thought oh hek blown it took my blood it had been high but was much lower and felt fine and then off back to Liverpool via Preston must admit very pleasant journey it is a well-known fact that autistic people love being on a train yer true have no idea why we have this train fetish but i do love being on a train i could travel about on them relatively happy !!!
My phone was running out of battery not sure if charger thing on train so never got message that parents came to pick me up ( no need ) they always think cos on occasion have got completely lost that can’t go anywhere but know my way round mersey side so NO panic ummm tired out of this now but although i loved the whole experience of this still kept thinking gone over time F XXX but as my dad says people know what u are like a loose cannon and just do what u like umm
I kept saying bits of invictus but at the same time NOOOOOh go away this does nothing put it to death and go to bed but few days later feel just be who you are and that’s the way it is i think as said before if i am relatively happy which i was i turn into chatterbox adhd person and when feel ultra nervous go into aspergic person and somewhere behind all this is me just me louby lou !!!
I am the m aster of my fate I am the captain of my soul !